May 1, 2013

On closure and guarding hearts.

     A couple weeks ago I wrote this post about a personal situation regarding forgiveness and closure that I was struggling with. Since writing that post I was able to meet with the person who this was about, and things went better than I could have ever imagined. Both of us are Christians and had prayed about the situation, and God blessed us both and allowed us to have the closure that we both desired.

     However, this whole situation never would have happened had I not become obsessed last summer with the idea of "having to have a boyfriend." I ended up sort-of falling for the first person that showed me any interest at school, and then when I realized that I didn't actually care for him as much as I just wanted a relationship it broke his heart (literally). He took it a lot worse than I did and long story short, we were both angry for different reasons and didn't have any sort of contact for most of the school year.

     In the past year I've come to find joy and confidence in being single, and I'm much more content now than I was at this time last year. I've also learned that just because a friendship/relationship is "pure" (nothing physical going on) doesn't mean that a lot of hurt can't exist. This boy told me face-to-face last week how much he had gotten excited thinking that I would be his college sweetheart, and then it was such a huge let-down for him when that didn't work out, and he had a lot of hurt and guilt for many months. (And we never even kissed or went out on a date!) After hearing this from him I really see now how it's important not to take things too fast in a relationship on an emotional level as well as physical. What was wrong is that he and I shouldn't have talked so much about dating and gotten excited about things in the future. One of the main things that I've learned through this experience is to really live in the present.


     So my advice to the single girls reading this is to seriously guard your hearts. The first Christian guy that comes into your life isn't neccessarily "the one" or even someone that you might have romantic feelings for. Treat every relationship with a guy as a friendship first and foremost. God will bring the right person in His timing, not yours!


     xoxo Miss ALK
   

2 comments:

  1. I am so glad to hear that this situation turned out okay. I know you were worried about it. You're so very right about how hurt can happen even in innocent relationships. Guarding your heart is so important and years from now when you're married and have a family--you won't regret waiting for the right one.

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  2. thanks so much this post, I recently had a similar experience. I thought he was the one because he was the first "real" Christian guy who liked me and truly loved Jesus. Things were going WAY to fast and He even brought up marriage quite a bit. Things ended when I prayed about it and realized it wasn't God's will. I loved what you you said about how "The first Christian guy that comes into your life isn't necessarily the one". So true, and important to keep into perspective. Thanks for the encouragement :). Love your blog lady!

    I'm a new blogger, you should follow me at http://foreverconvinced.blogspot.com/

    xoxo Jess

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