June 13, 2017

Southern Belle in Vermont: 2 Months Post-Move Update.



      It feels so surreal that this week marks two months since I moved across the East Coast and back to New England to begin my first job in radio! Absolutely, completely surreal. I have given y'all lots of little updates weekly about Vermont in my Midweek Ramblings blog posts, and daily as well as through my social media. But I suppose I hadn't really taken the time yet to really dive into what the aftermath of the move has been like, as well as living here in a new state.





      My employment contract is for one year, so I will guaranteed be in Burlington, Vermont from April 2017-April 2018. (Possibly longer after that, possibly not! 2016 taught me that a lot can change in a year, so it's way too early to make serious guesses about where I will be next spring.) I think it might be nice to write one of these Vermont life updates every two months? As I've told y'all already- soon I'm going to be starting a monthly blog post series about working in radio! I'll save most of my updates about my job and work life specifically for the first blog post to come with that new series, and instead focus today's post on my personal life outside of work and blogging here in Vermont.



April - June 2017: Months 0-2 in Burlington, VT

   SUMMARY: My first month here was a surprisingly smooth transition and was mostly focused on getting used to my job and demanding work schedule. Month two.... not as great. That's when it started to hit that I wasn't on an extended vacation away from Charlotte, but that I actually live in Vermont. And once the realization hit, it was a big one. I'm about to get reallyyyy honest with y'all in some of the paragraphs below- so forgive me if I seem a bit negative at all!


     HOME: This is the first time since I went to moved away to go to college that I live alone! I have a love-hate relationship with it. Most days, love. I think that if I was still in Charlotte and was living alone, I would be 100% in love with it. The only reason that I don't like it sometimes is because I still really don't have much of a social life outside of work in Vermont, so it gets kind of lonely sometimes being alone so much. But let's talk about my apartment:
      Furnishing an apartment is not a cheap process and I learned that the last time around!! I really didn't have a huge budget to spend on furniture or decorations for the new place, so I moved just about everything that I had from Charlotte to here, and then spent maybe $300 on a few statement pieces from discount home stores to add to the space. I still have the same bedroom set as in Charlotte (you cans see my room tour from last summer on the blog), but my new bedroom is shaped differently, so even though it's the same furniture and bedding it looks different! I'm planning to do some apartment tour and decorating blog posts in my new place- but I'm going to save those for winter blog content, because for most of winter it will really be too cold here in Vermont to shoot regular outfit posts!
      It took a full six weeks for me to finish unpacking all of my boxes and hang all of my decorations! I feel like I settled into my first apartment in Charlotte quicker, but that might have been because my roommate had already moved in there two months prior, so a lot of the apartment was already set up when I moved in. In this place, I was starting completely from scratch!
     Something that I have been talking to my parents a lot about this month is getting a pet, since I have been dealing with a lot of loneliness at home. A cat would be ideal for my work schedule and apartment, but unfortunately I have had cat allergies since high school. My parents think that a small dog would be great to keep me company, but I don't think that on my entry-level salary (and paying off broadcasting school this year) that I can afford a dog right now. So that's something that I'm torn about right now. I think a dog would be a great companion and might make me happier here in Vermont overall, but I'm not sure if I can afford it with school payments and that is a valid concern.... (I finish paying off broadcasting school in April 2018- the same month my employment contract is up!)



      FAITH: I shared in a blog post a couple weeks ago that another thing that I was having a hard time with here in Vermont was finding a good church community, and especially finding other Christian young professionals. Well- after sharing that blog post, I decided to visit yet another new church! Writing out all of those thoughts and feelings made me realize I actually wasn't that content with the church that I had been going to for a few weeks.
      I'm happy to share that I had a great Sunday visiting a new church last week, and returned to it again this past Sunday. This is the first church I've found in Vermont that does have some sort of a 20 somethings ministry, and everyone that I have met so far in the church seems so kind and friendly. It is a very small congregation, but having really enjoyed the services this is where I am going to keep attending for now. Obviously I still don't know too much about this church yet, but hopefully I will continue to enjoy it, and maybe get involved in the church in months to come. I am planning to go to their 20 somethings bible study tomorrow night so I will keep y'all posted on how that goes.



     SOCIAL: This is such a day by day thing with my new life here. Some days and weeks I think I have been doing such a good job with making the effort with new friendships, and other times I have crying breakdowns because I feel so lonely here and since things are so different than they were in Charlotte. #honesty
     To start, I am by far the baby of my workplace. I think that was one of the main reasons that I was actually hired- one of my bosses who does the hiring for the company was on the hunt for some younger talent to fill a spot on the radio station that I work predominantly for. So even though my coworkers are really nice, there is a definite age-gap, and I don't hang out with a lot of them after hours too much. I have been hanging out a bit with my boss's girlfriend (shout-out to you Mindy!) - she was definitely my very first friend in Vermont, and made so much of an effort to make me feel welcomed and at home in my first weeks here, which really meant so much to me!
     As far as other friendships, by month two here in Vermont I have made a couple other friends. One actually from blogging - I think my new friend Nicholle might be the only other fashion blogger in the state of Vermont! And I've made one other friend from Bumble BFF. But being real for a second y'all- adult friendships in a new place are hard. I am thankful to have met a few nice girls here, but with me having the weirdest work schedule of all time thanks to radio, it's often been hard for me to make plans. I definitely don't have the social life that I had in Charlotte... and as an extrovert, I really miss that. It's also hard since I live alone. I feel lonely a lot of the time, and am starting to run out of ideas for places to make new friends. (Other than the one new friend I did make, Bumble BFF in Vermont was a huge fail. There just aren't many people using the app here!)



     DATING: HA. Man if I thought my social life is off to a slow start here.... that's going at a rapid pace compared to my dating life!
     To put it quite bluntly: Vermont could not be more different culturally than Charlotte. There also aren't a lot of young professionals in Burlington, unlike Charlotte. Burlington is a college town, but a lot of graduates peace out of here after graduation, since this area can be hard to find jobs in. So if that gives you some insight into dating here...
     I decided to give good ol' Tinder and Bumble a try again in my first month after moving. Even though they never "worked" for me in Charlotte by giving me a serious relationship, I did have some enjoyable dates through them, and I even keep in touch still through Facebook with a few of the guys I went out with. Well- that will not be the case here! I probably sound so judgmental here- but I have never been so disgusted with the selection of guys on dating apps as I was with who did them in Vermont. I swiped on quite a few people but have never received so many inappropriate messages or been ghosted so much in such a short amount of time. (Nor have I ever also seen so many guys in one area list smoking weed as one of their main interests on a dating app....).
     This is something that I've been really struggling with. I am very much at a place where I want to be dating right now, but actually can't think of any more ways to meet anyone here! I'm not interested at all in something long-distance with my work hours right now, and kind of like with ways to meet potential girl besties, I am coming up blank with ways to meet guys in Burlington outside of dating apps.



     ACTIVITIES: My social and dating life might not be going the way I want them to, but I have made sure to still make the most of my free time outside of work! That is something that I have control over, and I didn't want to waste it sitting in my apartment and moping. The main thing that I did in the last two months was to join a gym! This has been the most positive thing ever. I have been attending regular Zumba classes for about six weeks, and I'm just starting to branch out into other fitness classes and working out on my own in the gym as well. Other things that I've enjoyed these months: the spring finales of all my favorite TV shows, unpacking my apartment, getting my library card and making lots of time to read for fun, cooking dinner a few nights a week and weekly walks on a bike path near my apartment.



     5 NEW VERMONT THINGS I DID:

  • Went on two hikes with my coworkers (to Mount Philo and Snake Mountain)
  • Toured the Ben and Jerry's Factory in Waterbury 
  • Marched in the Essex Memorial Day Parade with coworkers (this was mandatory for work- but still fun!)
  • Started working with a new blog photographer in Burlington 
  • Made my first Montreal day trip (for Chance the Rapper concert)



      Thanks so much for reading! The next time I do one of these updates it will cover the warmest months of the year in Vermont, so hopefully I'll have tales of a great summer to report back on!



     God Bless,



     xoxo Annaliese (or Charlotte XO on the radio!)


   



   

23 comments:

  1. Love seeing how the move to Vermont is going, Annaliese! Hang in there- I know things will get better :)

    xoxo,
    Katie
    chicincarolina.blogspot.com

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  2. This colour palette goes really nicely on you!!

    XOXO
    Preeti
    https://damselcode.com/

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing and being honest! I definitely struggled with a lot of those same feelings when I moved to Fort Knox, and I'm sure I will struggle with them once I move to Iowa (minus the dating, that's already covered haha!) Try seeing if Burlington has a Young Professionals group run through the Chamber of Commerce. I know we have one in the rural Iowa town I will be moving to. That might be a good way to make friends if you can attend events due to your work schedule.

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    1. I very much want to do a Young Professionals group! There is one very in Burlington and I have tried reaching out to the president of it... but have heard nothing. It seems from what I've seen on their website like they aren't very active. :/ I hope there is a better one in your new home city!

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  4. Have you considered fostering a dog? Not only would you be saving a life (or several!) but it's a great option for people who can't adopt. The shelter/foster organization sometimes pays for the food/medical costs and it could be a great way to meet new people! I've moved twice now to new cities (Charlotte being one of them) and completely understand the struggle to meet new people. The biggest thing I've learned is if you're not happy, nothing is permanent. Being young and pretty much commitment free is the best time in life to make a change. Enjoy where you are now but know in a year you could end up being exactly where you need to be.

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    1. Oh that's a good idea! I hadn't thought about fostering a pet- only adoption!

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  5. I completely understand how you feel, and it's awful. My husband and I moved from CT to Raleigh about a year ago for his job. Since he was entering the police academy, the move came with a sort of ready made group of friends for him- he'd be going to the academy, training, studying, and eventually working with these people. I, on the other hand, had no way of meeting people. It's been tough for me to find a job down here. I left behind 2 jobs I loved, a book club full of girls my age, and an environment (literally! New England is [obviously] so different than the weather down here) I was familiar with. We didn't have a "fall" or "winter" this past year- it was basically 90 degrees from May-September, then just slightly cooler, so the holidays didn't feel the same at all either. It's been a really tough year because of some other things as well. So even though I have a significant other here, my social and professional life stinks and makes everything feel worse. It's so hard to make friends at this age (I'm a few years older, but I'm guessing it's a similar situation). Everyone is either single and wants to go out to bars, or they're married with children and houses and other responsibilities.
    So long-winded rant aside... I don't have a lot of advice, but know you're not alone in feeling this way. It stinks, and we just kind of have to wait and see what happens =/

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    1. Thank you so much for the sweet comment Liza! I'm sorry that you've been having a hard time post move also- but definitely good to know I'm not the only one who has had a hard time resettling! <3

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  6. Aw, a little puppy would definitely help with loneliness. They're a lot of work, but they're so much fun! I totally understand how hard it is moving somewhere and not knowing anyone. It does get better!

    Carrie | http://carrieeliseandkho.com/

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  7. I think its great that you get involved! The moving transition process is hard and can take a while to get used to and for it to start to feel like home!

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  8. Isn't it weird that dating apps are SO different in different places. When I used Tinder/OkCupid in Seattle a few years back I never really received inappropriate or sex oriented messages but when I hear about other people's experiences they are so hook up focused (and I'm like were we even using the same app??).

    I am sorry that moving has been so difficult at times, I cannot imagine that it is easy. Picking up and starting a new life across the country is NOT a cakewalk and you are so brave for making that big move for your career. I do think it will get better in time and you will make more friends and connections in Vermont. You are 100% going to be a stronger person because of these struggles, even if you aren't in Vermont forever I bet you will look back and appreciate how much these struggles helped you to grow in the long run. Struggles always have a way of doing that don't they?

    Wishing you all the best Annalise! You are such a sweet and friendly person, you deserve all the happiness <3

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  9. Absolutely LOVED Vermont when I went. Hope you start feeling completely at home soon!


    Tori || Victori Media
    https://www.victorimedia.com

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  10. Are there any other people in your workout class around your age? Haha I think that would be a good place to try and make friends if so. :)

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  11. Yes!!! Get a dog. They make life so much better! They really are not too much money, especially if you rescue. With vet bills and food, probably $1500 a year.

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  12. It sounds like you are settling in really well! I'm so glad you got to visit Montreal... and for Chance the Rapper nonetheless! Hope you got your fair share of poutine.

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  13. Thank you for being so honest about your move to a completely new state! Moving to a new state is hard, especially when you don't know many people where you're moving but keep your head up girl!! You sound like you're doing great with reaching out to other people and finding things to do :) It just takes time to get used to the new town!

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  14. Ahh moves to new cities! I know the feelings you're experiencing oh too well. But good news: if you've actually been on date after using those apps, you're already doing 100x better than me, lol.

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  15. Hey gal! I am so sorry that you're having a hard time with the move. I moved across the country post-graduation to Kansas and it was the best thing I could have do (but also the hardest). If I can give you any advice it would be to see if there is a young professional community service or community group. I joined the Junior League (there are leagues all across the country) and that's how I met all my friends! Your chamber of commerce may also have a young professionals program (ours does here). It's hard to make new friends but it is do-able- and you've got this girl!! :)

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  16. I tried Bumble BFF! I thought it was a huge fail too! I met some cool people - but it all just fizzled out. It was weird since things seemed to go well. Then I felt weird like I was dating someone and all in my head haha

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  17. Moving is hard! I really appreciate your honest sharing of your experiences and feelings. It seems like you are being really proactive about finding other people to spend time with and make connections with. Keep on keeping on!

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  18. I know you feel like you're struggling right now, but God totally has a plan for you in your life-you never know what direction He might have you go! You sound like you're doing absolutely everything you can be doing to make connections (trying out churches, going to the gym, going to activities, etc.) so just keep on keeping on :)

    xoxo, SS


    www.SouthernAndStyle.com

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  19. I appreciate your candid honesty, immensely. My fiance and I are moving to a brand new state and city in just about a month and a half and I'm thankful I have him and our little dog. Dating and networking apps are SO freaking different in different cities and states, but I think you're doing the right thing by being out and about. Heck, even through going to the gym you might be able to meet a few people. Thank you for this post and I look forward to more of these posts down the line. Sending you virtual hugs from Illinois!

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  20. Moving can be really rough. When I moved out of my parents house I didn't really make any friends besides people at work (and even those weren't people I hung out with outside of work) very quickly, I also tried Tinder and met the most boring guy in the entire world. I met my husband about 5 months after I moved here and that really opened the door for me making more friends. We're planning on moving in about 6 months and I'm honestly so nervous about it. One of our options is the area where I went to college so I do have a few friends there, but the other option is in South Carolina which is a full days drive from here and I know no one. My husband has already been talking to people from some churches there, though, because he's hoping to attend seminary in Greenville so I hope getting plugged into a church early on in the process will help me make friends!

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Thanks so much for reading Southern Belle in Training! Comments make my day- so feel free to share your thoughts on this post! I read each and every comment.
If you have a question in regards to one of my posts, or just want to say hi, the best way to get ahold of me is by e-mailing me directly at: rainbowflash94@yahoo.com. I am better about responding to e-mails than blog comments sometimes!
Xoxo