Welcome back to the next installment of my Relationship Monday series! If you missed the intro to these posts, 1-2x monthly going forward I'll be sharing blog posts about some topics that are a bit more nitty gritty than my fashion content. It's been on my heart for a long time to write about things related to relationships, so welcome to my Relationship Monday series! This is my chance to write about anything related to dating/singleness/guys, and especially how faith plays into all of this.
This post was a more fun one to write: "What I Look For In A Guy." Like many other single young women I'm sure, it's taken awhile to find the balance between being proud of having high standards in looking for a dating partner, and also making sure that those standards stay realistic. Definitely a balance indeed! So here are some of the main qualities that I've looked for when going on dates with guys before, or meeting guys back in high school and college:
1. Christian Faith: I have to be honest right upfront and say that I've both developed feelings for and gone on dates with a few guys in the past who didn't share my faith. My standards about this weren't always as strict as they are right now. While the bible is pretty clear about believers not marrying unbelievers, but I do think that sometimes couples can grow in faith together after relationship has started, or that sometimes God can use one person to bring another to Him. However, the last couple guys that I've had strong feelings for did share my faith, and that honestly has really changed my perspective on this. For me personally, when looking for a guy not only to date, but hopefully to marry and share a life with, I want his faith in God already to be established and a key aspect of his life. It doesn't have to be the exact same as mine... if he attends a different denomination of church or if we believe different things on certain issues, there could be room for compromise. But as long as his relationship in God is steady and evident in his life, that's number one!
2. Sense of Humor: A close second to Christian faith is that I look for guys with a sense of humor! Humor is one of the greatest gifts in life, and I look for guys who not only make me laugh and smile, but also laugh at my jokes as well. The second one is especially important... I can have a very weird sense of humor, so I preferably don't want to be the only one laughing when I make a bad joke! It truly is such a great feeling though when you meet someone who is just on the same "wavelength" as you humor-wise.
3. Financially Responsible: This might be something that I wouldn't have looked for in a guy as much when I was younger, but now that I'm at an age to see dating partners as potentially marriage partners, I look for different things. Finding a guy who is financially responsible is so important to me. This doesn't mean they have to be wealthy by any means, but I would look to date someone who manages their money and debts well, and has a financial plan for the future. Obviously many people in their 20s are struggling a bit out of school, and a lot of people do have student loan debt or car payments. But I want to look for a guy who is similar to me in that he takes pride in having a high credit score, lives within his means, tithes to his church and/or a charity and enjoys a balance of both spending money both for fun and also saving for both emergencies and the future.
4. A Love of Travel: This one isn't as much of a deal breaker as the top three, but one thing about me is that I do love to travel! Ideally, I would love to spend my life with someone who also had as much wanderlust as I do, and would prefer to budget for travel as opposed to other things. While I think shared travel between a couple is important, I also think girls/guys' friend trips each year should also be prioritized, and would hope to find someone who felt similarly.
5. Physical Attraction: The lowest item most certainly on my list, but still important. Physical attraction is something that doesn't stand the test of time, and inner character is always more beautiful than how a person looks on the outside. However, you do have to be physically attracted to a guy for sparks to fly! Thinking back on guys that I've liked and dated it's a bit interested- I really don't have a "type" as far as looks go. Hair color, eye color, body type and even height... I've pretty much liked it all! To me the things like personality, faith, humor, and other qualities can make a guy seem more attractive, and are what initially makes me attracted to him. But that physical spark does have to be there too. I've gone on dates with some super nice guys before, but just haven't felt physical chemistry, and that's something that you can't force.
It is really important to be at a place where you know yourself well enough to be aware of the top things that you're looking for in a dating or marriage partner! These are just the top five that I prioritize, and in the order that I do so. They've definitely taken me awhile to establish, but at this point in my life, I do feel fairly confident in them. Perhaps it would be fun if I surveyed some of my guys friends to write a follow-up to this post from a male's perspective!
I'd love to know from you ladies (and any guys who might read this) what the things that you're looking for in a significant other are! Share with me in the comments.