February 13, 2013

What I'm looking for. (Valentines' Day 2013 part 1)

This is part 1 of my thoughts on Valentines' Day, love, purity, guys and a bunch more things... part 2 will arrive tomorrow!

Tomorrow marks Valentines' Day #18 for my as a single lady. This will also be my 18th Valentines' Day. Hopefully most of you can make the connection that this means that I've never been in a relationship on a February 14th... :-)

     In the past I've been much more bummed about about never having a "Valentine." I honestly believe that most of this is because I went to a public high school where there was a lot of peer pressure to have a boyfriend and be in a relationship. I found myself being jealous of my friends that did get to celebrate the holiday with their significant other. These feelings caused me to have a giant pity party every year instead of just realizing all of the blessings in my life.

     This year at college my views have totally shifted. While it would have been awesome to spend the holiday with a great guy, I'm trying instead to have positive views. My faith has grown so much since I've been at college, and I know that God will bring the right amazing man into my life at the right time. So until then, I'm trying to deepen my relationship with God and work on being the best person that I can be, as well as taking time to really enjoy things that I like to do (more on that below).

     A wonderful book that I'm almost finished with reading is called "Wait For Me" by Rebecca St. James. Rebecca is a Christian artist who waited faithfully for God to bring her the perfect man in His timing. She's a great role model and I thouroughly enjoyed this book! In the past I've felt weird and immature because I don't have much experience with guys or romantic relationships, but this book made me start to value my purity and desire to hold onto it. It made me realize how when I meet the right person he is going to be so honored that I saved myself for him and stayed true to my Christian morals. A bible verse that has been especially encouraging to me during this time is this:

     "...Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." -Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV)

     The book encouraged readers to set purity standards for themselves so that staying pure won't be a challenge in future dating relationships. I think this is a great idea! While it would be amazing if the first guy I date is my future husband, I realize that the likelihood of this is small so I decided to set purity standards for myself so that I'll never "go too far" with someone that I'm just dating. One of them is that when I'm still in the beginning stages of a dating relationship I'd like to do as much stuff in groups of friends as possible, it'll give me a way to see how my boyfriend acts around my friends and also to help us stay away from getting too physical. 

     And finally, here are some characteristics that I hope my future husband will have. I don't like to get too specific in terms of physical appearence because ultimately God will decide who I marry and they could be totally different from what I'm expecting. All I'll say in terms of looks is that I should find them attractive. :-)  But I do hope that my guy will:

1.) Be a Christian (Not being a Christian isn't really an option!): My faith is so important to me, and I honestly can't even imagine spending my life and being intimate with someone who doesn't believe in the same amazing God that I do. If the guy is a true Christian then this also means that he won't pressure me into having sex before marriage, and he'll also be pure.

2.) Have a love of travel: I absolutely adore travelling. I get bored easily if I'm in the same place for too long. Moving to the south for college was definitely the best decision that I've ever made for many reasons, but one of my favorite parts of this is that I've gotten to know a new part of the country very well. This coming spring break I'll be going overseas for the first time (to Italy!) and I hope that this is just the first of many big trips for me. In the future, I'd rather have a smaller and more modest home versus a big house if it means that I can use some of the saved money to travel more! I'm honestly not sure if I could be with someone who is a homebody or is afraid of flying. With that said I hope my guy will love the south! So far I'm loving life here and hopefully I'll be able to stay in the south after graduation in a few years. 

3.) Be content without children for awhile: Kids are great, and I think that I'll probably want 1 or 2 down the road but honestly I don't feel that God is calling me to motherhood anytime soon. The idea of birth freaks me out beyond belief (there's a good chance I'll adopt). When I get married I'd like to take a few years to really get to know my husband and enjoy married life. We could use our extra time to focus on our careers and our relationship with each other, as well as volunteering our time to get involve in a church and ministry! I also want to fufill my lifelong dream of having a puppy before a baby comes along. :-) Now granted, if I don't get married until my mid 30s or later then this could change, but if I do get married soon after college then these thoughts will stand true! 


     If you've read this far and made it through my jumbled post I am quite flattered! I'd love to hear your responses to everything I've talked about so feel free to leave a blog comment! And part 2 of this will be coming tomorrow- I'll be talking about things I can love in my life before falling in love.


     xoxo Miss ALK 
     

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