March 20, 2013

In need of encouragement.

     Today was not my day, and this has not been my week.

     Despite the fact that I'm over the terrible virus/sinus infection combo that ransacked me in the weeks before spring break and then the actual break itself, my energy levels are still not back to normal yet. I get an energy crash most days in the late afternoons. I haven't been going to any school events or club meetings- just going to class and then to the caf for food takes a lot out of me. I've always been a very active person who doesn't enjoy too much sitting around so this is part of the reason that my spirits have been down.

     Due to the sickness thing I've had a ton of make-up homework, and most of my teachers and jumping right into assigning new things now that spring break is done. Tomorrow morning I have two back-to-back essay tests (one is a make-up exam) and I'm not fully prepared, yet I feel that I have no motivation to be prepared either. School is becoming a burden. I'm starting to dread going to classes and I feel that I have no joy in being at this school anymore. The fact that this weekend's weather forecast shows low temperatures in the 30s and lots of rain isn't helping me a bit either (This isn't Maine weather!!!). While I am blessed to have sweet friends here at college, I'm feeling disconnected from most of them lately (Probably due to the fact that I haven't been getting out much.) I've also lost touch with a lot of people that I was close with last semester, and I hate when that happens. Another thing that's been burdening my heart is how I'm losing touch with my high school friends. I knew that this was going to happen (And to be honest- I didn't even plan on staying in touch with all of them.) eventually but it's hard for me to adjust to since I stayed in close contact with many of them my first semester.

     Here's the weird thing though: as much as I don't want to be here I don't really want to be home either. While I am excited to be going home next weekend for our short Easter break, I definitely don't feel homesick. I love the South, I really do. I'm just very confused about what I want I guess. Part of me wants to transfer.

     Now for some details about my day: as stated above I haven't had a lot of energy since returning to school. But today I got fed up with the low energy thing and decided that I needed a little break from campus. I hopped in my car and decided to do a little shopping. This was probably my first bad decision, because as I am currently without a summer job I'm not really in a position to be making unneccesary purchases. As I was on my way back to school I reached over for my phone so I could play a song off of it in the car. It wasn't there. I quickly turned around and sped back over to the stores I was at. Luckily one of them had my iPhone and it's back safe and sound with me, but the whole incident really freaked me out. I couldn't believe I was so careless.

     After I got my phone back I realized that I was craving a slice of ice cream cake. Those of you that follow me on Instagram know that since being sick I've been eating lots and lots and lots of ice cream cake. I'm not really sure I why I've suddenly developed a taste for it as I've never liked it much in the past. But anyways, that's what I was craving and it seemed like the perfect treat to end to a long day of 4 classes and almost losing my phone. So I went into the nearest Walmart, only to find that they didn't sell ice cream cake. I was dissapointed, but drove to a nearby grocery store. After having unpleasant interactions with at least 4 employees (Seriously people- customer service is important!) it was determined that this store also didn't sell ice cream cake. I had a feeling that store number three would be where I got lucky... but alas I had no such luck. Three stores, NO ice cream cake. The worst part is that I wasted close to an hour doing all of this dessert hunting and it used up whatever little energy I had left for the day, so now I'm having a really hard time studying for my tests.


     Seeing all of this typed out almost makes me laugh now- I guess the annoyances of my day and week seem very trivial and small compared to what so many others are suffering. I suppose it is easy to get caught up in yourself and forget the bigger picture- that God's love never fails and everything happens according to his purpose and plan. But here's the thing- while I know that God will never leave my side and that He's always with me through these experiences of exhaustion, lonliness and frustration, it doesn't mean that I'm feeling 100% better either. I know that I'm not depressed- I was for a time in my junior year of high school and these feelings aren't as severe as what I was feeling then. But I'm definitely not very happy right now either.


     To end things for tonight, I just wanted to let y'all know how much I love you. Blogging is seriously one of the best things that I've ever decided to do. It's such a great stress relief (I already feel a little better from just typing this up) and a good creative outlet. But the best part has definitely been getting to know my amazing followers! I love reading your blogs- in fact most weekdays that's a highlight for me after I get done with classes for the day. I especially love reading the blogs of the girls that are a few years older than me, and have not only gotten through the tough high school and college years but made it out very successful and strong in their faith.

     Thought I'd let you guys know that despite the large amount of homework that I have to do this weekend I don't have many other plans, so if any of y'all are free to I'd love to get to know you more! My blogging friends have brought so much joy to my life and even the littlest things like a comment from one of you or a "like" on Instagram always brightens my day. I enjoy skyping with blogging friends or even just a good ol' IM chat. Please send me an e-mail at rainbowflash94@yahoo.com if you'd be interested in chattin' it up this weekend! :-)


     Here's to a new day tomorrow! Many blessings,


     xoxo Miss ALK

6 comments:

  1. I had those same feelings my freshman year! I had mono and tonsillitis at the same time. It truly made me feel disconnected from everything and I highly considered transferring. I even went as far as submitting other applications.
    But I hung in there and things eventually got better! Freshman year is hard, but just know pretty much everyone goes through what you are at some point!
    Hang in there :)

    -Samantha

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    1. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone! Thank-you for your your sweet comment. :-)

      xoxo Miss ALK

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  2. I had a really hard time when I moved away from uni and ending up transferring (you can read about it somewhere on my blog!), it was definitely the right decision for me but you've been so strong and have made it so far already, don't give up now!! Things will feel much better when you get your energy levels back and can go out more! Don't worry!!

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    1. Thank-you for sharing!! I'm glad that transferring was the right decision for you!! :-)

      xoxo Miss ALK

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  3. I was sick early in this semester too, so I know how you feel overwhelmed with make up work and new assignments piling up. It took me a long time to get caught up. I find that making daily to do lists helps to keep things organized, and it also gives you a sense of accomplishment being able to check something off a list. As for the lack of energy I was there too. Part of it is recovering from being sick and I think the other half is just the winter blues. It helps to go to the gym like 3-5 times a week even if it is just for twenty minutes. Also, I am all about the power naps. I literally take at least a thirty minute nap everyday, usually in the mid afternoon. It gives my brain a break and when I wake up I feel rejuvenated.
    I hope you feel back to normal soon.

    shorelifeofm.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank-you for the fitness tips! I actually will be forced to get active soon because of a fitness project that we're doing in my health class right now. :-)

      xoxo Miss ALK

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If you have a question in regards to one of my posts, or just want to say hi, the best way to get ahold of me is by e-mailing me directly at: rainbowflash94@yahoo.com. I am better about responding to e-mails than blog comments sometimes!
Xoxo