Life Update: My Next Career Chapter Begins!

      Popping in on this Tuesday morning with a little life update: I am starting a new career today!

Duolingo App Review + My Story with Learning French.

      My pandemic hobby that I'm most proud of and that I've stuck with the most consistently is practicing the French language on the Duolingo app. In August, I hit my one year anniversary of using Duolingo, and I'm proud of myself for continuing on for this long! I wanted to share a  review and some thoughts about how much I like Duolingo. I apologize in advance for how long this post is- I had a lot to say!

A Week in My Life: What I Do With My Free Afternoons.

      Some of the most frequent questions that I get asked from both real life friends and blog readers alike are about time management. With my unique M-F work schedule as a morning show host, people are often curious how I spend my time with having mostly free afternoons after work. I also often get questions about how I balance blogging and working full-time. I've now been on the crazy morning radio work schedule for two and a half years, and it's become second nature to me. I honestly don't think what I do most days in the afternoons is very exciting at all haha! But on the contrary, I love seeing day or week in the life type posts from other bloggers and influencers, so I decided to go ahead and share mine.

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10 Things to Do For Professional & Career Development.

      Last month marked four years since I entered the workforce full-time! My professional career thus far has been entirely spent in the radio industry, which definitely can be a bit unique compared to other career paths (even others in communications and media). But one thing that working in radio does have in common with any full-time job? The ongoing opportunity to advance your career and professional knowledge by seeking out career development and networking opportunities! 

     While employers in some industries are really intentional with paying for or helping their employees seek out professional development education opportunities, that isn't the case at every job or company. I'm a firm believer that there are always things that you can be doing on your own to help yourself network with those in your industry, or gain more knowledge about your field. While not all of these are free ideas, a lot of them are! Since I know most of you aren't in radio, I am going to try to make sure most of these ideas aren't just things that would apply to the radio industry. Most of these are things that I have done (a couple I haven't gotten to yet)... but out of the ones that I have done I've found them to be very beneficial!

I Love Leasing My Car: Why I Leased Again + A Mistake To Avoid.

     Last spring, I began my first car lease. I felt that I had well researched buying vs. leasing, and was confident in my decision to choose leasing. I loved my car, but was already excited to think about getting a newer vehicle at the end of the three year lease term. Three years was a timeframe I felt great about! What I didn't expect however was having my brand new car totaled after just 10 months of having it, thanks to a deer jumping on it while driving on the interstate. 

How to Enjoy The Holidays When You're Alone.

      You don't need me to tell you that the holiday season in 2020 will be looking very different for a lot of people. This might be the very first time that you aren't able to travel to or host family and loved ones for special celebrations. In some ways, I consider myself a little bit of an expert on spending holidays away from home, since I've lived out-of-state since 2012. But with that said- this year will still look different even for me because of the changes with COVID, I thought it might be helpful as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach to still share some of my tips for having a great holiday even when you aren't traveling/hosting or being with loved ones!

Why Sending Cards Means So Much To Me.

      I am excited to be partnering with Hallmark today to share with you why the act of sending a greeting card in the mail means so much to me! I am a huge card enthusiast (and basically have been since I was old enough to write), so this partnership is truly a dream. 

My Experience Flying During COVID-19.

      Last week, I flew to and from Maine. Obviously a global pandemic isn't the ideal time to be racking up frequent flyer points, but when it comes to things like seeing family or important 2020 life events (like small weddings or funerals), flying might still be your best transportation option. I know that before I flew, I was really nervous and didn't quite know what to expect as far as the airport went. I wanted to share my recent experience with you today! Hopefully if you're flying soon this might help you feel a little more prepared, and even if you're not you might still be curious what things are like right now (like I was!). 

What to Wear To Work When There's No Dress Code.

      Workplace dress codes can vary so much from office to office and industry to industry. There's the flexible and ever-popular business casual, to the conservative and esteemed business formal. It's fairly easy to find resources with suggestions on building your work wardrobe for the various dress codes. But what about when your workplace doesn't have a dress code? How do you dress each day? How much do you take advantage of the flexibility? 

     The two full-time jobs I've had in my adult life have something big in common: no dress code for the studios at either of them! That's pretty common for on-air folks in the radio industry. Since I've had a few years of practice of setting my own dress code, I wanted to share my tips with you today. As well as one of my favorite casual looks from this summer that would be a great for a more casual workplace!

5 Reasons I Decided to Lease My New Car.

    Yesterday marked one month since I drove my new car home! My old car reached the end of its life last month- it got to the point where it was more expensive to fix it than the total value of the vehicle. After many conversations with my parents, coworkers and friends, a lot of Consumer Reports reading, several dealer visits and test drives... I officially became a lessee on May 18th, 2020. It's only been one month of leasing so far so I can't speak for how I'll feel about it in a year or two from now, but for the time being I've had a fantastic experience and believe this was 100% the right decision for where I am financially, my driving habits, and my general preferences on cars. If you're planning to get a new vehicle soon or in a bit of a pinch and getting one unexpectedly like I was, here's why I think you should consider a lease:

5 Life Lessons I Learned When I Lived in Vermont.

    This month marks two years since I moved from Vermont to Virginia!! (March 18th, 2018 to be exact.) Last year I celebrated my first move anniversary by sharing a detailed post on all things Charlottesville: things I loved about living here, things about the area that confused me, and how the first year had been for me from a work and personal standpoint. This year I wanted to do something different to celebrate year two! Instead of focusing on all things Charlottesville... I wanted to go back down memory lane to Vermont.

     I lived in Vermont for 11.5 months- I love to joke that I couldn't quite make it to the full one year mark! 😂April 2017 to March 2018 was by far the most unique, trying, confusing, and lonely phase of my life to date. But with that said- it was also a time of reflection, growth, refinement, and some special happy moments as well. 11.5 months of high highs and some low lows!

     To commemorate two years since the move, today I wanted to share the five most prominent life lessons that I learned while living in Vermont:

How I Paid Off My Student Loans.

     One of my resolutions for the year 2019 was the finish paying off my remaining student loan debt. My initial goal was to have it paid by the end of the year, then that goal got moved up to before my birthday (early September)... but I ended up becoming debt free in mid-July 2019!! 

      Everyone's journey with paying off school looks very different- I have friends with 10x the amount of debt that I had, and friends whose parents paid for their entire education or who had full ride scholarships. Knowing that everyone's situation is super different, I still wanted to share my own story in hopes it might encourage someone! Even if you don't have school loan debt, maybe my story could still inspire you with another type of debt (like credit card debt or car payments).

Having a Great Summer When You Can't Take a Vacation.

     Getting real in today's blog post! Both in my choice of outfit (this is a more casual look than I usually wear on the blog), and in the topic of today's post. Can't wait to hear y'all's thoughts about this topic! 

Photography by Meredith Sledge

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Southern Belle in Training!

Top // Shorts // Sandals // Sunglasses // Purse // Necklace // Bracelets // Lipstick //

    Outfit talk up first: definitely keeping things very casual for today's look! This is a perfect example of the type of outfit that I'd wear on a summer weekend in Charlottesville. I picked up this cute striped t-shirt over Memorial Day Weekend, and I love all of the bright colors in it. These shorts have been some of my very favorites for a few years now- I love them so much that I re-purchased an identical pair this season since my previous pair was looking a little worn from years of love. To make this casual look seem a bit more put-together, I added a fun statement necklace, bright pink sunglasses, and a favorite pink crossbody purse.



     Now let's get to today's other topic: how to avoid FOMO and stay positive during the summer if you're not able to take a vacation this season. There's lots of reasons why some of us can't take vacations certain years. I actually haven't had a summer vacation since 2015, so I am hopefully much overdue for one in 2019! In 2016 I had just started broadcasting school, in 2017 I was still too new at my first job to use PTO, and this year, 2018, it's the same situation as last year! Radio is an industry that isn't famous for its PTO or benefits, and I have to wait until I've been employed six months at my new job for my time off to start. Of course, these are just a couple examples of reasons why you might not be able to take a summer vacation. There are tons: lack of PTO from work, being in school during the summer, family needs, illness, not having the funds, etc etc.


     It can be hard to stay positive about staying in your town or city all summer when friends are jetsetting all over the country and world (social media unfortunately makes the travel FOMO all the more real!). I wanted to share some tips in today's post to help with still having an amazing summer, even if you can't visit anywhere exotic or new.



      *Remember that social media is a highlight reel: We're all guilty of getting caught up in the downsides of social media sometimes. When you keep seeing perfect Instagram picture after perfect Instagram picture from people's summer travels, it can be easy to get into a negative mindset and throw a pity party. It's good to take a step back and constantly remind yourself that Instagram and other social media is people's *highlight reels.* 99% of the time, you're seeing only the highs, and not the lows that we all deal with. If the comparison game is really getting you down this summer, try to spend less time on social media!


      *Use the summer to reevaluate the reasons that you can't travel at this time: There's probably a major reason why you can't travel this summer. If you're staying close to home this month and next, take that time to remember your reason for not being able to go anywhere, and think about how you can fix that by summer 2019! For example, my reason for this summer is that I don't have PTO yet at my new job. When I start to feel down about not having any vacations coming up, I remember all the reasons that I moved to Virginia to take this new job, and how much I love my job, which makes it worth it for me. I also have started brainstorming a list of travel destinations I'd like to visit next year, which gets me excited about the future! If finances are the major reason you can't travel right now, I challenge you to save as much money as possible this month and next, and start a separate savings account for future adventures.



      *Plan a weekend overnight trip within a two hour radius: Y'all- never underestimate the power of an overnight getaway! Simply getting out of your home for a night and heading to a close by new city or town (or staying in your city for a staycation at a hotel) can do wonders! I had an absolute blast during my weekend trip to Richmond,VA last month (Richmond is just over an hour from Charlottesville). Weekend trips are generally affordable, and they can "hold you over" until you're able to go on a longer trip! Plus, I'm sure there's tons of places within a 1-2 hour radius of you that you're not familiar with yet.

     
      *Make a summer bucket list of local activities: I shared my summer bucket list on the blog last month- and I'm so glad I made one! The one I made has kept me motivated with trying new things in Charlottesville and Central Virginia this summer. If you're feeling especially financially thrifty, I challenge you to make a bucket list of only free activities in your local area!


      *Keep your social calendar full: Staying busy with friends is a great way to enjoy your summer and local area! Although I was bummed I can't travel this summer, I have been viewing it as a blessing in disguise because I've been able to devote a ton of time to fostering new friendships and meeting people in Charlottesville. If I was on-the-go all summer long, that probably wouldn't be the case! It was really hard for me to make friends in Vermont last year for the first few months (last summer), so summer 2017 felt so long and boring to me. I've had a much different experience making friends in Virginia, so summer has been awesome so far! I have different social things to look forward to each week, and it's all been a total blast.


      *Become involved with a summer activity in your local community: If you're staying put for the summer, it can be a great time to get involved with a summer specific activity or local project! I joined a summer bible study group at my church, and it's been a way to meet new friends at church, learn more about topics in the bible that I hadn't previously studied, and it also gives me something to look forward to each week! Other options include getting involved in a volunteer opportunity, joining a sports league, signing up for a fun class at community college or your parks and rec department, or even picking up a new side hustle.


   


     Are you traveling a lot this summer, or also staying grounded this year like I am? I'd love to hear in the comments!



     God Bless,


   
      xoxo Annaliese

Life Lesson: Don't "Count Chickens Before They Hatch."

    A week from tonight, I thought I was going to be looking at the beautiful skyline pictured below. Back in one of my very favorite cities, my former home of 4+ years, my beloved Queen City. Instead... I will not be in Charlotte. Because well, life is like that. Today's blog post is a bit more personal, but I wanted to share a few things that have been on my heart lately, and an important life lesson I was reminded of through it all!

Photo by Deeana Kourtney Photography

      It's no secret that I've been very homesick for Charlotte since moving to Vermont. Although things for the most part have gone well at my job, my personal life has been close to non-existent since I moved, and I really find myself longing for my old life back in the South. I write more about what my transition to Vermont life has been like in my bi-monthly post-move updates (next one coming soon to the blog!), but I think y'all get the hint that it hasn't been an easy transition in my life outside of work.


     I work 6 days a week, and lately I've had a lot of overtime hours as well due to extra radio events happening during the summer season. So between the homesickness and work getting very busy, I'd been feeling very overwhelmed. I'm not able to use PTO until December, but since I am putting in a lot of overtime this month, I decided to see if there was any way that I could take a "mental health long weekend" from work, to take some time for myself, recharge before work gets even crazier before the end of August, and most importantly, make a little trip back to the city that I miss so much. I'll give y'all the short version, but my bosses said YES!! I was so incredibly overjoyed. They totally understood everything I was asking about, which I was so grateful for. They gave me a weekend, and I officially had the dates. I was going "home!"


      The first thing I did was text just about everyone in my phone contacts who still lives in Charlotte, to make sure they were around that weekend. I set up a tentative blog photoshoot with Deeana. I confirmed which nights of the weekend I would stay with which friends. I even explored the option of renting a car, since I wouldn't have my car there (FYI: under-25 driver fees are NO JOKE and that would not have ended up being an option!). I brainstormed how much Southern fast food I could possibly eat in three days. I did ALL OF THIS.... before ever looking at flights or flight prices....


     The next day, I went to book my flight, and I thought that my computer was playing a cruel trick on me. Being originally from Maine, I'm quite familiar with East Coast flight prices, and I know what the average prices are to fly from CLT to New England for holidays, and also for regular times of the year. The prices that I was seeing were more normal for buying a ticket to fly during Christmas at the last-minute... not during a summer month with no holidays! They were INSANE! I had miles with one airline that I was hoping to use, but I didn't realize that miles can't be used for trips booked under 21 days in advance, and this trip just missed that mark, so that option was out to help cut the cost down. For the next 12 or so hours, I searched every possible flight website out there, as well as other airports like Montreal. Everything that I was seeing was depressing, and 100% out of my budget. I've seen flights to places like California and London for cheaper prices than what I was finding from Burlington or Montreal to Charlotte for the weekend that I had off from work! Through all of my travel research, I realized that the airports that I often used to fly out of (Boston and Manchester, NH), are some of the cheapest in New England, and Burlington is often thought of as one of New England's most expensive airports.


     I finally realized the next day that as badly as I wanted to go back to Charlotte, and even though amazingly work had given me a very rare weekend off, it still wasn't meant to be and wasn't going to happen. I have a very entry level salary right now, and about 90% of my paychecks currently go to paying Vermont's extremely high rent prices, as well as my broadcasting school payments. I don't have the type of income where I can throw around money on very overpriced, last-minute flights. And goodness, that was a tough, tough realization that was accompanied by a lot of tears. I felt very stuck and trapped in Vermont that day. Very not happy to be at work, very not happy to be in my apartment, very stuck all around.


      I've since had some time to process everything, and wanted to share a takeaway that I had from this experience: don't count your chickens before they hatch! This of course is the title of the blog post, and has been one of my favorite sayings for a very long time. Obviously I didn't take the advice of this phrase at all in the way that I went about preparing for my weekend off. After ensuring that I had a weekend off, buying the flight to Charlotte was probably the most important part of the whole thing, and yet that was the part that got away from me in my excitement. I jumped ahead to the part about announcing the news of me coming, before there was news to announce!
     This whole failed trip experience reminded me of when I was applying to jobs this past winter, and then later accepting my job here in Vermont. I was so hush-hush during the entire application process, as I didn't want to jinx anything. When I came to Vermont for my interview trip, the only people that knew were my parents, my roommate, and my two broadcasting school directors- that was it! I didn't tell anyone else about the job offer until I had received my employment offer and things were official. And in that case- things turned out well! It seems like every past instance in my life when I have gotten excited and jumped the gun on something, it always falls through before happening.



     I have been seeking comfort in my failed trip experience by trying to remind myself daily of things that I still have to be grateful for, namely the fact that even though I'm not headed to Charlotte, I still get to enjoy my first three day weekend since starting work four months ago! I've also been re-reminded of the fact that although right now feels a lot like I am "stuck" in Vermont, this stage of life is temporary. I didn't make a lifetime commitment to being here, and if I learned anything from the past year, it's that a lot can change in a year! I also have been trying to remind myself that I would always rather be here in Vermont working at this job that I love with my talented and friendly coworkers, rather than in living Charlotte working at a job that I hated, struggling to get into the industry of my dreams.




      Have any of you learned any life lessons or had any great realizations lately? Share with me in the comments- I would love to hear! 😊 Also- I have a survey running right now about upcoming New England (and Vermont!) travel content for the blog. It's only seven questions and takes just a minute or two to complete. If you would take the survey here, I'd be so grateful!



     God Bless,



     xoxo Annaliese (or Charlotte XO on the radio!)

Why I Decided To Do A Four Week Shopping Fast.

     I've mentioned in a couple blog posts from this month that I'm currently in the middle of a four week long shopping fast, so I wanted today's post to explain a little bit more about what this is and why I decided to do it. 

This post contains affiliate  links. Thank you for supporting Southern Belle in Training.

     My definition of a shopping fast means no shopping for fun or anything unnecessary for the duration of the fast, which I have set at four weeks. That means no online shopping, no strolling the mall or local boutiques after work, and just no personal shopping in general during this time! I made sure to stock up before I began this on a few beauty essentials that I use in my daily routine. I was going to do the shopping fast through the whole month of May, but I didn't want to miss out on Memorial Day sales, which can be some of the best of the year after Black Friday, so I began the fast a few days early at the end of of April, and I'll finish it at Memorial Day Weekend.


      So why exactly am I doing this? And more specially, why now? Here are my reasons:


     1. Moving out of state is EXPENSIVE: This one is kind of self-explanatory, but true. Moving out of state each summer when I was in college was an expense for sure, but nothing even close to doing a full blown out of state move. I am really thankful that my parents were able to help me out this time around with a lot of the major expenses (although that probably won't happen next time around!), BUT there was a still a lot that I had to pay for too. Things that you don't think about... like tipping your movers and all of the DMV fees that you have to pay upon arriving in your new state. That all adds up fast. And it adds up even faster when those things and other things come due before you've had your first paycheck! Needless to say, my bank account definitely needs some time to recover after having a lot of expenses all at once like that.


     2. Budgeting is difficult (especially when you're bad at math): A fun fact about radio: even though I am 100% convinced I have the best job in the world, the one downside of it is that I don't work in the highest paying field. Starting pay in radio is really low, and that's an unavoidable fact. To me it's worth it- because my career satisfaction makes up for the lower salary! But a lower starting salary means that I have to be really money conscious and stick to my budget (which I'm in the process of making). Unfortunately for me, math of any type has never been my forte. It's helping me this month as I figure out necessary expenses to completely eliminate the unnecessary ones.


     3. I've been reevaluating and appreciating things I already own: Taking a month off from shopping might seem really unusual for a fashion blogger to do... after all, one of my jobs here on the blog is to keep up with the latest trends and styles, and the report on them and style them for y'all! But one problem that I do see sometimes in the blogging world is materialism creeping in to someone's life and starting to take over. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a girly girl who loves clothes, shoes, makeup and trends. But there is a problem when this starts to become an obsession, someone's money starts going only to fund shopping habits, and someone believes they find their worth in material things. That's a big NOPE! When you spend so much of your time each week working on your blog (or even just as a reader of blogs) it can be hard sometimes to notice materialism creeping in. Buy cutting out shopping for a month, it will help me to focus on other priorities, and also realize how much stuff I already have! Seriously- I gave away a ton of stuff before I moved, but I STILL have a closet FULL of clothes and accessories!



      So those are my reasons behind my shopping fast! I'm already looking forward to the Memorial Day Weekend Sales, but surprisingly starting this month hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. (Although I do really have my eye on this pair of sunglasses- haha!)



     Have you ever partaken in a shopping fast before? Let me know in the comments!!



     Hope y'all are having a great week. I have a busy day coming up tomorrow with more radio events after my show- I love having a job that keeps my week interesting!



     God Bless,


     xoxo Annaliese (or Charlotte XO on the radio!)

BIG NEWS: I Have a Radio Job + I'm Moving!!!!

Photography by Deeana Kourtney Photography

     It is my greatest honor to finally be able to share this joyful news with all of you! I feel like I have been sitting on the biggest secret for the past few weeks, but I wanted to make sure that everything was in place and 100% official before I announced it here. Today's blog post is a story of patience, determination, trusting in God's plan, and holding on to a very big dream, and I can't wait to share it all with you. I know that some of you are probably just reading to hear the nitty gritty details that this bold blog post title promised, so I'll get right to all of that first and foremost! And then if any of you want to stick around for a little more, the post will continue on below where I'm sharing the story of my first exposure to a radio station, and when I knew I wanted to be a radio personality when I grew up. But without further ado- let's jump in:

     *Let's recap first- what have I have been up to for the past year? Following my graduation from college in May 2016, I enrolled in broadcasting school. My broadcasting school is a 10-month program where students are intensively trained for a career in radio, television or video/audio production. While I am glad that I was able to learn more about TV and production during this year,  it was very clear from me early on in my time there that radio was going to be my career path. 

All students at my broadcasting school must complete an off-campus internship in their final months of schooling, and I began mine with a morning radio show here in Charlotte right after New Year's. Not even a couple weeks after starting my internship, I began applying to radio jobs across the country. For a number of reasons, as much as I love Charlotte as a city, I've been feeling like it's time to move away from here for a season of life. I also didn't know how long my job search would take, so that's why I wanted to begin early. And that's what lead to...

     *My first radio job: I am so pleased to share that beginning on April 17th, I will begin my dream career! I will be working as an on-air radio personality for not one, but TWO stations! On weekdays, you'll be able to hear me on a Top 40 station, and on weekends I'll be on-air for an AC (adult contemporary) station. This couldn't be a more ideal first radio job for me, as one decision that I struggled to think about in broadcasting school is if I wanted to pursue Top 40 radio or AC. I love and listen to both formats, and genuinely didn't know for awhile which I would rather work in. Well- now I don't have to decide! One of my favorites sayings is "win-win," and in the case of my job I think this is the ultimate win-win! And note I said "you'll be able to hear me..." - both stations broadcast online and have listening apps as well, so you don't have to be in my new city to tune in! But that brings me to...

     *Where I'm moving to: This wannabe Southern Belle is doing something she never thought she would do... moving OUT of the South and back to New England! If that doesn't prove how dedicated I am to my career and how much I love radio, I truly don't know what does. 😉 And no- I'm not moving home to Maine. I am actually moving to Burlington, Vermont! I have to stress- while I did want to leave Charlotte for the time being, at the same time I truly didn't see myself ever moving anywhere near New England again. But I also love everything about my new job, and in so many ways, this specific career opportunity is a God thing, and I know that Burlington is exactly where I'm supposed to be next. While I might not be excited for rough winters again, I am so excited for the adventures to come and discovering a new state and city! 

     *Is your blog name changing? This is the question everyone wants to know, haha! The answer is no, not at least for the first year I'm there. If Burlington and New England end up being a more permanent fit for me, or a place that I'm in longer than Charlotte, then you bet there will probably be a major blog rebranding in the the future! But at least not for the first year. Partly because I'm not sure if Vermont will be a season in my life or a permanent home, and partly because a blog rebranding and design is a big thing to undertake, not to mention expensive! Plus- "Southern Belle in Training" is a name that means a lot to me, and despite where I live, I will always be a Southern Belle in Training! I've fallen head over heels in love with Southern Culture, and I always hope to emulate characteristics of a modern Southern Belle, both on and off the air. 😊

     I was flown up to Burlington for my final interview for this position a few weekends ago, which was when I took a random social media break for a few days if any of you remember! I wanted to be completely present and focused on what all was to come while I was there, which ended up being a great decision. And speaking of trips to Burlington, my mom and I are here again right now! I wasn't able to find an apartment during my interview trip, so we came back for a few days to tour a lot more places. It seemed appropriate to finally blog about the big news while I'm here! 

      Lastly, I wanted to share the story about how I became interested in radio as a young girl. While my mind did change a few times in middle school and high school about what I wanted to be when I grew up (other possible careers included journalist and teacher), I always would come back to radio personality. Anyways- here's the story:

      My dad has a very deep and booming voice (I definitely get my loud voice from him!), and back in 2002, his company gave him the opportunity to record a radio spot for them at one of the local Maine radio stations. My dad would be spending the afternoon at the station recording the spot. Up until this point in time, I was quite the young radio enthusiast. By "radio enthusiast," I mean that I had a special radio ritual that took place most weekday afternoons. When I was six, my parents got me a pair of roller blades. As much as I enjoyed using them outdoors, I wanted to maximize my new toy to its full extent, so I used them indoors as well! Part of the basement in my house is unfinished, and most afternoons when I was six/seven years old, I used to head down to the unfinished part of the basement, but on my rollerblades, lift out my snazzy Philips boom box, unfold its radio antenna, and crank up the latest tunes on Maine's #1 leader for hit music, Q 97.9. And then I would skate laps around the basement, listening to my favorite radio hits and the afternoon DJ. (Mind you- the unfinished part of our basement was NOT large at all. They were very small laps. Haha!) Anyways, my afternoon basement roller skating radio fest kept me entertained for a long time, and when my dad had the opportunity for this commercial for his company, he asked if he could bring me along. The station said yes, and I was SO excited! 

     The day finally came to visit Q 97.9, and it was wonderful. My dad got to record the commercial, and while that was going on for him the afternoon DJ gave me a special tour of the station! A highlight of my tour was when I was shown where all of the new CDs were kept (does that prove how long ago this was?), and he told me I could pick one out to keep! If you're wondering what I chose, it was Enrique Inglesias's Escape, and I still have it to this day. (I'm also still an Enrique fan today! Ha.) They also told me I could pick out a song that would play later that hour, and I requested "One More Time" by Daft Punk. My dad and I later heard it as we were headed back home on the highway, and knowing that I had helped to pick that song gave me a feeling of happiness like I had never had before! Even at just seven years old, I knew in my heart that the feeling that I was experiencing right then as a consumer of radio, was what I wanted to give to people as my future career. I wanted to pick the songs and talk to the listeners (...or basement roller skaters, in my specific case). I wanted to have my voice be heard. I wanted to be a radio DJ! And here we are... about 15 years later, and the dream I never gave up on is finally coming true. 

     Thank you so much if you've made it to the end of this very long post! (And also a huge thank you to Deeana, my blog photographer, for the radio head shots! This photoshoot was definitely out of the norm for what we usually do, but still so fun!) A lot of changes will be coming in the next month in my life, but despite the huge move and new career, I hope to still keep things consistent here on Southern Belle in Training. I hope that y'all will be sticking by my side through what's to come, as I can't wait to bring my career and blog together! 

     "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

     xoxo Annaliese 

A Christian Perspective on Tinder.

     In the months and weeks before I joined the popular dating app Tinder this fall, I found myself googling phrases like "Tinder and Christians", "Christians on Tinder" and "Is Tinder okay for Christians" again and again. I never really found any search results that helped with what I was looking for. I hope that today's blog post might help someone out there who might someday be googling the same things that I was! I by no means consider myself to be a relationship or faith expert (and I'm certainly not a Tinder expert), but I do have a story to share about this topic, and what better place to do so then my blog?

A black and white version of the photo that I used for my Tinder Bio. Photo Credit: Emily Sacra Photography

     Many of you who have been long-time readers of my blog know that I have yet to have a serious relationship in college. I have been on many a casual date throughout the past three and a half years, but circumstances beyond my control always prevented things from getting more serious with the two boys that I could have given my heart to during my college years so far. (Then there has been plenty of unwanted male attention, especially during my freshman year at my former college, but that's a whole separate blog post! Haha.)

     What my lack of a  dating life comes down to is that I'm a girl who has always known what she wants, and my high standards, faith, and lifestyle make it hard for me to fall for someone. The couple times that I have opened my heart a little bit, I have gotten hurt before things even progressed very far. I do truly believe that God has a perfect plan for everyone's relationships if they follow Him, and that is what I have tried to honor with my dating life in college. He is ultimately greater then any crushes or boys or hook-ups.


     But with all of that said, by the start of my senior year this year, I was getting a little tired of being single. (Actually, a lot tired).  I hadn't been on a date in over six months, and the last guy that I had gone out with was someone who I had much greater feelings for than he had for me. I knew that it was really about time for me to move on from that situation, but I didn't know how to. I go to a college that has a much higher population of female students then males (another reason why I haven't dated that much in college), and no one was catching my eye at school at the start of the year. I'm not the type of girl who will force myself to like a guy just so that I have someone to go out with, and I wasn't about to start doing that with the guys at school.

    So I started to consider Tinder. I had heard so much about it over the past couple of years, as it really came on the scene during my college years. At first Tinder was only known as an app to find people nearby who wanted to hook-up, but over time the connotation of it began to change. I started hearing more and more stories of real relationships that were formed because of Tinder. By going to school in a city as large enough as Charlotte, I started to wonder about the population of guys on there, and if there might be guys on the app who had similar lifestyles and religious views to me, and who might be looking for relationships instead of just casual sex.

     When the stress of sorority recruitment started really getting to me by mid-September of this year, I decided that I needed a distraction from recruitment (and needed it FAST), so I thought that downloading Tinder would be the perfect distraction. I thought that maybe talking to some new guys, going on dates, and the possibility of maybe meeting someone amazing would be a great way to get through the recruitment season.

     Tinder did end up being the distraction that I was looking for. I do have to give the app credit for getting my head out of the sorority mindset a bit! But was it the healthiest distraction? I don't think so.



~~~~~



   All in all, I probably only talked to maybe eight to ten guys in the couple of months that I had Tinder. This might sound like a lot, but with the way that the app works I was probably swiping through literally hundreds of guys within the time that I had it, so I really am very selective. And out of these eight-ten, I only went on two dates. Neither resulted in a second date.

    Both of my dates were in restaurants during the dinner hours. Both restaurants were popular places and in very public areas- when meeting someone for the first time from online, safety is always key! One date was right in Charlotte, and the other was in a suburb.

     The first guy that I met up with was back in September, during my sorority recruitment season. We had a really nice conversation on the app, and I was genuinely excited to meet the guy. The good news about our date: he was cuter in person than in his pictures. The bad news: he was also monotone, boring, and quite rude. We had no connection in person at all, and what little conversation there was felt very forced.

     My second date was about a month later, with a guy who was a few years older than me. He was the opposite of the first guy, in that he was very nice, and we were both able to hold decent conversation throughout the whole date. He was also a Christian and enjoyed talking about his faith, and I liked the fact that I had been able to find an openly Christian guy on Tinder.
      However, even though the second guy was both a lot kinder and also a Christian, we still didn't "click." After meeting him in person, I realized that his goals and priorities in life were currently a lot different than mine. Perhaps it was our age difference, perhaps it was our different backgrounds... I'm not really sure. I honestly attribute it to the fact that it's very hard to get a true sense of a person on Tinder. You can learn facts about them, sure, but getting a sense of their actual personality and demeanor is a different story.



     A couple of my best friends strongly encouraged me to delete the app after my second date. They saw how bummed out I was from both of these experience, and thought that even though Tinder wasn't an obsession for me, it was still bringing more negativity then positivity into my life. And I realized that they were right!


     So now that I have shared my experiences with Tinder: here is my conclusion on it. It isn't always a bad thing. I honestly think that it is pretty cool that we live in a society that's technologically advanced enough to have dating apps like Tinder around! I do know of people, both in Maine and North Carolina, who have gotten into actual lasting relationships thanks to Tinder. So it's definitely not all bad.

     However, while I do think that giving it a try and seeing how it works for you isn't a bad thing, it needs to be treated with caution. Both for the obvious safety reasons, but also to protect your emotions and heart. I didn't let myself develop strong feelings for guys that I was just talking to on an app, so I thought that I would be totally fine with it all, but I never even considered how much it would disappoint me when both of my dates didn't go well! Just like my friends told me, if Tinder is bringing more negativity then positivity into your life, it might be time to re-evaluate why you need the app.


     This post is titled "A Christian Perspective on Tinder" since I am a Christian, so my last piece of advice regarding Tinder or any online dating is to pray about it! God will give you a sense of peace if the timing is right. And always be sure to use things like Tinder in a way that honors God- I never would have used Tinder for one of its uses, which is just for hook-ups, I was actually on it to try and meet someone that I might pursue a relationship with!



      Lastly- possibly my favorite thing about Tinder... something everyone can enjoy whether you're using the app or not, is the Instagram account Tinder Nightmares. Real Tinder users submit screenshots to this app of conversations gone wrong, and honestly it is the funniest thing in the world. Their Instagram posts always brighten my day. They just released a book of the best Tinder Nightmares of all time recently, and I would love to get my hands on it!



     Now I want to hear your thoughts! Have you ever been on Tinder? Are you on there now? (If so- do you have any date horror stories or Tinder Nightmares of your own?!)


     xoxo Miss ALK

Identity Girls.

     *This is not a sponsored post, simply a blogger promoting a book that I think you all should know about! :-)   

     I'm not sure how much I've posted about this before, but for about the past six-seven months I've been apart of an online group of awesome Christian ladies called Delight. In short, Delight is a place for Christian teen girls and young women to come together who all have a love for their faith and the creative arts. Delight has been a huge blessing in my life this year, and it's how I got to meet my friend Shara (We first met online and have since hung out in person a couple times!). Many of the Delight girls are interested in photography, but other creative disciplines are represented as well! I'm one of the bloggers of the group, and there are also artists, dancers and actresseses! One of the actresses is who I'd like to talk about today.

     Meet Rachael Lee Stroud! I am so blessed to have met her through the Delight group. She is an actress in Hollywood who is using her faith to make a positive difference in the industry. In addition to her acting career, she has a wonderful blog! Rachael is currently engaged to a fellow actor and her relationship is a perfect example of what dating God's way can accomplish.

     Lately Rachael has been expanding her writing outside of her blog, and she recently published an e-book called Identity Girls that I'd like to talk to y'all about today! It is a 30 day devotional that is designed to help young women define themselves as the women that God wants them to be. Rachael has seen firsthand how the entertainment industry can make girls feel terribly about themselves, and cause girls to have an "identity crisis." Rachael wants to help girls find their true identities in Christ through her e-devotional!

     Currently Identity Girls is priced at only $3.99 for download on Kindle. What an amazing deal! Even though it has only been out for two days there are already some excellent reviews on Amazon! Here's what readers are saying:

      "This is an incredible devotional that truly helps young women understand who God says they are versus the worlds definitions. The messages are powerful and life changing and are communicated so beautifully by Rachael Lee...she has a fun and authentic way of delivering powerful messages!"

     "Young women today are surrounded by pressuring voices trying to convince them that their worth lies in their looks, their possessions, or their popularity. This book offers a very different voice, a deeply-needed voice of compassion, wisdom, and love that speaks truth into the lives of young women, helping them to find their identity in the love of the personal, creative God who delights in them. Give this to the young women in your life and they will find relief, compassion, and healing for their hearts. Cannot recommend this highly enough."


     One thing that I forgot to mention is that I am pleased to announce that I will be guest posting on Rachael's blog once a month!! I shared my first post earlier this month which was basically an introduction to me and my blog. I just love Rachael and her heart, and I'm so honored to be posting for her! I hope that someday I'm able to meet this wonderful lady in person. :-)


     And on a total side note, Happy Halloween! Are any of you celebrating? I haven't gotten too into Halloween in the past few years, so I will not be. But my sorority sister P's grandparents are taking me and her for dinner off-campus tonight, so that should be fun! And P is also taking me to Hobby Lobby for the first time... I've heard it's an amazing craft store so hopefully it wont' dissapoint! 


     xoxo Miss ALK


     

From failure to triumph.

     According to the world's standards, I am a failure.


     I am almost 19 years old, and I have never had a boyfriend. I've never been kissed, I've never been asked by a guy to be his date to a dance or formal event, and I've certainly never been in love. Today's teen culture isn't made for girls like me. Messages everywhere scream that the only way to be happy at this age is to have a boyfriend, and that there's something wrong with you if you haven't experienced dating yet.

      A lot of these messages come from the media. One example that I found recently was in a recent issue of Cosmo magazine. I don't regularly read Cosmo because of its explicit content, but my grandma somehow ended up with a subscription and asked me to take an issue home so I could call and cancel it for her. I noticed that there was a special section in that issue on college life, and I thought I'd take a peek at what the magazine had to say. One of the college articles was solely on "hooking up" and how to make your sex and dating life extra spicy for the coming school year. I believe 100% that today's hook-up culutre is wrong, and isn't what the Lord instead for His children, but reading about the sex lives of girls the same age as me definitely made me think that I have some catching up to do in the dating department, and left me feeling terribly about myself.

     The messages aren't always as bold and straightforward as Cosmo articles. Every single popular teen television drama these days features some sort of dating relationship or hook-up between characters. Even if the main plot of the TV show isn't about sex and dating (such as Pretty Little Liars, a mystery show), you can bet all of that stuff is going to be there. I've said before that my favorite TV show in the world is 7th Heaven. I loved this show because it emphasized Christian and family values, but even with that, all of the show's main teenage characters started dating by the time they were in early high school. There's quite a few make-out scenes throughout the seasons. Television shows might not be coming right out and saying "You're weird if you haven't started dating yet," but these themes can sure make a person feel that way.

     One thing that seems to have become increasingly romance and significant other focussed is Christmas. This wonderful holiday should be all about celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus, but instead it seems to have become almost more love infested than Valentines! There's tons of Christmas songs all about finding true love, or mourning the fact that your love won't be there to celebrate with you that year. There's the photos that everyone sees on social media of girls bragging about what their boyfriends or husbands got them for Christmas. And what about the whole idea of kissing someone under the mistletoe? With all of this and more combined, it's no wonder that girls that are still single can feel pretty down in the dumps throughout the month of December.

     And then there are the messages that come through real life instances. Those moments that come year after year as your see the fellow high school (and now college) students from your home church attending services with their significant others. The moments when the seven and eight year olds from my short stint as a day camp counselor say things to me like "Why don't you have a boyfriend? You're 18, you're supposed to have a boyfriend!"

     And the hardest moments are when your realize that you've seen every single one of your high school friends go through at least one dating relationship. These moments are when one of your girlfriends shares to you with excitment that the guy she's liked has asked her out, or when a friend tells you about the cute thing that her boyfriend did for her this week. Those moments come when some of these relationships hit a rough patch or come to an end, and your girls call you and cry to you on the phone about how terrible their love lives are, when all the while I'm just thinking to myself I'd give just about anything to have experienced love, or a guy's admiration. At least you got to know what it feels like! How can you be venting to me- I clearly don't know anything about any of this stuff!

     .....

     When I see all of this written out, all I can think to myself is how I've failed and failed in the dating and relationships department by the world's standards. There must be something wrong with me, or I must be too prude or too picky about guys, or just plain unlucky. Whatever the reason, I'm not doing too well.


     But thankfully, God's standards give my dating life (or current lack-thereof) a totally different view. God does the same for every other teenager girl or 20-something young woman that has a similar story to mine. How His heart must break when us ladies cry and complain about not being in love with an earthly man... when God sent his Son to endure torture and die for us, and wants nothing more than for us to fall completely in love with Jesus! Something that I've been trying to tell myself lately is Jesus is enough. If I am able to someday develop a truly strong and unwavering faith in Him, then I will have the greatest gift ever. A gift one million times better than any bouqet of flowers from a boyfriend, a diamond ring from a fiance, or the wedding of my dreams to a husband.

     Even though falling in love with the Lord should be enough for anyone, God is good enough to provide precious romantic relationships to many Christians. The beauty of relationships done is His timing is that they will be God-honoring and pure, and the type of relationships that can last through the years and stay strong through any trials or hardships. When someone will enter into this type of relationship one cannot predict, but God knows. In the bible it says:

     "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

     I'm definitely desiring a relationship with a wonderful at this point in my life. But all that I can do right now is surrender this desire to the Lord, and trust that He knows what's best for me and will bring someone into my life when the timing is right.

     Until then, I will triumph in the fact that yes, I am almost 19 years old and yes, I have been able to keep purity a priority in my life! I can be happy that my first kiss will be shared someday with the first guy who treats me the way that I'm supposed to be treated, and not just with some random guy that will leave my life as soon as he entered. I can be relieved with the fact that since I'm not having sex I don't have to worry about STD's, pregnancy, birth control or any other worries that come with premarital sex. I can be glad that since I don't have a romantic relationship right now I can take this time to work on the areas of my personality that need some work, and try and make myself the best person that I can be before adding a second person into every asepect of my life.

     And most importantly, I can triumph in how I'm proud of myself for being what I think is a great example of a modern and independent young woman who keeps up with the trends, yet still places her faith first and has fallen in love with God's plan for her love life.


     Single girls: will you join me in being triumphant?


     xoxo Miss ALK


     P.S. This post was written mainly as a way to cheer myself up after I felt the "single girl blues" creeping on me this past weekend. Writing all of my thoughts down in this post made me feel so much better, and I hope that I was able to encourage some others in the process! :-) 
     

Life update.

     I can't believe that it's Thursday and this is only my second post of the week! This week has flown by in one big blur of work. I figured I should use this post to update all of you about a few things that have been going on with me. :-)

     After this week, I will be back to working only one job (my retail one). I blogged a couple weeks ago about how I was really stressed during the first few days of working at both the store and the day camp. Things got a little better the second week, but my stress levels were still way higher then they should be for summer, and my parents finally sat me down this past weekend and told me that I had to quit one of my jobs. I won't lie and said that I told them "That sounds really logical and great! Thanks!".... haha. I was actually quite angry at first and this lead to a few arguments and some tears and yelling on my part. I kept thinking in my head that I was a "failure" for not being able to hold two jobs like I planned, and I was angry at myself for not being able to get the income this summer that I had so desired. But then as the weekend passed and my busy work schedule started up again I realized that I should be happy that my parents care enough about me to see that I was working myself too hard, and I should probably take their advice. The bible does say "Honor thy father and mother." Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that this didn't stop when I turned 18 and became a legal adult. ;-)

     So anyways, for about the last month of my summer I'll be back to one job. The one that I chose to keep is the one that pays better, and is overall less stressful then the camp. And the good news is they've still given me a good amount of hours! Although I'm excited to have more down time again, there are some things that I'll miss about day camp, mainly the kiddos. The kids that I worked with were so sweet! They always made me laugh, and I'll miss their hugs and the funny things they said. One of my little campers from this week named her stuffed bunny after me, which was the cutest thing ever! I was especially honored since my first name is quite long, and half the kids can't even pronounce it.

     Although I'm now very happy about working one job, one of the reasons that I didn't want to quit one at first is that I worried that not working all the time would give me too much time to be "homesick" for the South. In the past week especially I have been missing school and North Carolina living so much. I miss the food (remind me again how I lived for 17 years without Chick Fil A), the weather, the fact that highways are toll-free (I shouldn't have to pay two dollars up here just to drive to see my grandma!), the shopping options... and most of all I miss my church and my friends from school. Yes, I'm still transferring to a new school in NC for next year, and yes, I'm still really excited about that. But does that mean that I'm going to forget about everyone at my old school? Definitely not!

     None of my friends from my old school live anywhere near Maine. I have texted the ones that I was closest to a little bit since summer started, but finding time for Skype dates or phone calls is almost impossible since everyone has different work schedules and summer plans. I know that I'll pay some visits to my former school during the upcoming fall semester, and hopefully a few friends from there can visit me. I'm just getting impatient! I'm even more impatient to be at my new school, meeting my roommate and new friends, and getting involved with the school. I'm so excited to find a new church, and hopefully be able to visit my old church a few times as well. I adored the church that I went to during freshman year, I was able to grow so much spiritually from being there! I like my church that I go to at home in Maine, but it just doesn't compare.

     I feel like this whole summer my mind has been stuck in a North Carolina state of mind. I know that I should be focussed on the present: enjoying the short summer, spending time with my family, catching up with high school friends, and using the free time to do things that I never have time to do at school (like working on scrapbooking or cooking). But lately I just don't have any motivation to do those things. I'm not even that into going to the beach anymore... and that's the thing that I miss the most when I am at school!

     Do any of you have tips for staying in the present? I'm trying to get in the mindset of just being thankful for where God has placed me this summer, which is my technical home, but it's almost like just telling myself to think that way isn't enough.

     And on a totally different note, I finished the eighth and final season of That 70s Show on Netflix today. Y'all, I almost cried when I got to the end. I realize that the show doesn't have the best morals, but it is hilarious and I credit the show to getting me through the end of freshman year! Seriously though- through getting sick, drowning in make-up work, the transfer process and everything else that came with this past spring, that show helped to keep me laughing. I'm so sad that I have finished it. But that means though that I'm looking for new Netflix reccomendations! What's a new show that I can get into for the end of this summer and the next school year? Preferably something on the cleaner side... That 70s Show isn't the type of show that I'd usually like! ;-) I'm especially looking for reccomendations that are on Netflix instant watch. I'm in season 9 of my all-time favorite show, 7th Heaven, but that takes me awhile to watch since it's only on the DVD service. I've been told that Gilmore Girls is great but that's only available through DVDs also.


     Hope that you're all having a beautiful end to your weeks!


     xoxo Miss ALK