Life Changes I've Made for My Faith.

     Despite the fact that my Christian faith is one of the biggest parts of my life, I don't often write about faith topics in depth on the blog. I often let my insecurities get the best of me in this area of life, and tell myself that I'm unqualified to speak so publicly on Christian topics. I also know that a lot of you who read here don't share my religious views- and I always want Southern Belle in Training to be a place where all feel welcomed (and hopefully I can share my faith with you in a loving and not pushy way). Anyways, the idea to do this blog post has been on my heart for a good few months now, so I'm finally pushing through my nerves and just doing it! This is a pretty personal post but hopefully it'll make you think and maybe consider some things about your own faith journey.

Church Hunting Tips for Millennials.

     If I had to give someone my age or a little bit younger than me (either a guy or a girl) three tidbits of life advice, these are the things I'd tell someone. 1.) Always keep $1000 in an emergency savings account, 2.) Don't be afraid to take a job in a new city or state, and finally 3.) Become involved with a church. In today's blog post, we're going to talk all about that third item!! The last time that I wrote specifically about church hunting on the blog was last spring, shortly after I moved to Vermont. That was more of a personal post about my own church hunting experience in Vermont. I've also written a previous blog post about why I think church attendance and community is important (especially for millennials). So in today's post, we're going to talk about the how-to's: how to find a church, and how to get involved in one!


    For a bit of background with myself and church hopping/hunting, I grew up attending three different churches over the years back home in Maine. My parents and I went to one from when I was a baby until I was seven or eight years old. My mom and I then started attending a larger non-denominational church in a neighboring town, and we went there for five years. I became involved in the middle school youth group in 6th and 7th grade, and this is the church that I consider to have found Jesus at. We then started attending a smaller church closer to where we lived when I was in 8th grade, in the Advent denomination (different from 7th Day Adventist!). lMy dad still plays in the worship team at this church, and it's the one I go to when I'm home in Maine.


     I had already had experience switching churches from growing up, so I wasn't too scared to find a church when I moved out of state as college freshman. I've now done church hunting on my own four times! First in the small town that my first university was at, next in Charlotte when I transferred colleges, third when I moved to Vermont for my first job, and finally, here in Virginia! I'm not sure if this is just a weird coincidence or a "God Thing," but each time that I've church hunted in these four different places, the third church I visited was "the one." Two of the churches I've gone to have been Baptist, and two non-denominational (currently at a non-denominational one now).



     Maybe you're new to faith and haven't found a home yet, or maybe you've been going to your family's church for decades but are ready for something new. Maybe you just moved out of state and have to church hunt for the first time! Either way, I'm so excited to share these tips and thoughts with y'all today:

{Photo from my trip to Italy in Spring 2017!}

     "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is apart of it." -1 Corinthians 12:27 NIV (read verses 12-31 from this chapter)


     "So Christ Himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up." -Ephesians 4:11-12




     Things to Look For in a Church Home:

• Other millennial aged people attending the services: There is so much more to church than just attending services on Sundays. Making friendships, getting involved in different ministries, and just being apart of the church family is crucial. Speaking as a single young woman, I'd find it very hard to be enthusiastic about continuing to go to a church if there wasn't anyone else near my age or in the same stage of life there. I think the best churches are diverse churches: with members being both diverse in ethnicity and life background, but also in ages. It's wonderful to see a vibrant church filled with everyone from babies to the elderly! A nice mix of a families, married couples, and singles. However, it could definitely be hard to feel really connected at a church if the majority of members are all much older (or younger) than you. In past circumstances when I've church hunted, I've found some that have thriving children's and youth ministries, but nothing going on for single adults, and few attending the services. The good news is that there are many churches all over the country with a high rate of millennials attending- you just have to find one of those! 

• A friendly congregation: With both my church in Vermont and the church I attend now in Virginia, on the first day that I visited I met girls that ended up becoming my close friends. Both totally by chance- I was seated randomly near a girl who was friendly enough to say hi to me! I will admit that I'm not always the best at spotting new people in church after I've settled into attending one- it's so easy to just get caught up in the familiarity each Sunday. But I am trying to be better about that! One friendly face and hello could totally change someone's perspective on visiting a church- it definitely has for me.

• Bible based preaching: I truly do think it's wonderful that there are so many denominations of church. Some people prefer to worship one way, some prefer a certain type of preaching, some prefer more ritual, etc. I really do believe that there is a type of church for everyone! 😊But with that said- when you're checking out a church, no matter the denomination, make sure that the preaching and messages given are truly bible based. There is unfortunately a trend right now, especially in some evangelical mega-churches, to preach a "prosperity gospel" (more on that in this article!). If the messages coming from the pastor or other church leaders sound "too good to be true", they probably are. On the opposite note- if a church is preaching or promoting anything that is too legalistic / traditional and makes you feel uncomfortable, that's not a good sign either. Find a church that sticks to the bible, but in a welcoming and loving way! 

• Lots of ministries: You don't just want to go to church, you want to be the church! It is wonderful to find a church with both lots of internal ministries (ways to serve in the church body directly), and also external ministries in the local community, country, and world! Different people have different spiritual gifts, so the same ministry won't appeal to everyone. But that's the beauty of it! Examples of ministries to get involved with would be hospitality, children's, youth, outreach, administrative, media, and so many more! I was on the hospitality team at my church in Vermont for a few months of my time there, and this summer I have been praying about finding a new ministry to get involved with in my church here in Virginia. It's also great to find a church that participates in service projects or local missions to the nearby community, and that supports foreign charities or missionaries as well!

• A wide array of small groups: It is so important to make some close friends in your church community! Not everyone who goes to your church will be your best friend (that would just be weird!), but at the same time, church is a family and you should have people within that family that you're close to! Look for a church that has a wide array of small groups or bible studies to join. I've been in a small group at three out of the four churches that I've attending since moving out of state, and all of those groups have been such blessings to me! I've been in both all female and co-ed groups- both have their strengths and weaknesses. Ideally find a church that offers both for your age group and see what you prefer! 

     Both big churches and small churches can have the four things that I listed above! I went from attending a mega church in Charlotte to a very small church in Vermont, and I still felt at home spiritually in both. I would absolutely love to hear your story in the comments about church hunting and how it's played into your faith journey! Have you found a church home as an adult? Still searching for one? 

     God Bless,

      xoxo Annaliese 

Keeping Your Faith While Living in a Secular Area.

      This week marks seven weeks since I moved to Vermont (!!), and the time has gone by both very quickly and very slowly. Everything related to my job in radio has gone by quickly and pleasantly since I love my job, but some of the aspects of my personal life outside of work make certain days go by a little more slowly, and I would be lying if I said there weren't any hard times yet since the move.

      One thing that has been especially challenging since I moved was moving from a city with a large Christian population back to a very secular area of the country. Let me give a quick background on where I'm from for anyone who might be a newer reader. I'm originally from a small coastal town in Maine, so I've lived in New England for most of my life and was familiar with the culture up here before I accepted my job in Vermont. I definitely think Vermont and Maine have more similarities culturally than Maine has with some of the other New England states, such as Rhode Island or Connecticut. Anyways, although I'm from an area of the country that is beautiful, I hated growing up in my small town. I had a horrific high school experience for many reasons (no exaggeration), but one thing that became increasingly hard for me to deal with as I got older in Maine was the lack of young people who shared my faith. My mom raised me in my elementary school years with the importance of going to church, and my dad came to faith when I was in middle school. By the time that I was in high school, my faith was my own and I knew the importance of living a moral lifestyle and having Christian community. Unfortunately, few people in Maine (and even fewer young people) seemed to also realize that. So that is mainly what motivated me to choose a university in the South... I was ready to experience life in the "Bible Belt."


      ^^I should clarify on the above passage- I am friends with all sorts of people (in Maine, NC and now Vermont!) who don't share my religious views. 😊 Christ showed his love to all people, and I try and do the same. BUT with that said- the importance of creating community who shares your faith and morals is very important (and also biblical- see Hebrews 10:24-25!)


       Anyways, now that I've settled in here in Vermont, I realize that unfortunately it seems to be a lot like Maine in terms of the religious climate. I'm slowly starting to make friends outside of the workplace here, but so far I haven't met any Christian young people yet. In Charlotte, there were Christian churches of all shapes, sizes and denominations. Mega churches were very common in the city (I used to attend one), as well as medium and small sized churches. Of course not everyone that I knew in Charlotte was religious or attended church, but it was more normal to do so then to not. My roommate and I last summer were apart of a bible study with other young women our age through my church, and my church offered tons of other groups just like the one we were in.


      Here in Vermont, there are a decent number of churches for a small area, but they're all very small congregations. I don't so much mind small churches, but what is hard is that very few of them here offer ministry opportunities or groups for young professionals/young people. I've been church hopping since I moved here. For the past few weeks I've been attending a church that I think I like- the worship and sermons remind me of my church in NC. But this church doesn't really do anything in terms of social events or bible study groups for people my age- they have a high school group and then a group for people my parents' age and older. So even though I have been enjoying the sermons, in all honesty, it has been hard for me to be attending and not really finding community. I might still continue to visit other local churches, but what I have heard is that the church that I've been going to is by far the biggest Christian church in the area.


      Charlotte was a very diverse city, probably more diverse then people would think a city in the South is. But even though there is a lot of diversity there, I always felt like there were lots of people around who shared my religious, moral, and even political views. Here in Vermont on some days I find myself feeling very much like an outcast. I already keep my faith, morals and political views hidden from much of my public persona since I work in media, so I am missing having people in my life to share these things with outside of my job.



      I apologize if the whole first part of this post seemed like a rant! I didn't mean for it to. I know I
have so much that God has blessed me with- most importantly a job that I really do enjoy, so I don't want it to seem like I have nothing to be happy about. But at the same time- this is something that has been weighing on me a lot since I moved here, so today I just needed to be honest with y'all. 😊



     Now I would like to share a few things with y'all that I've been doing to do my best to keep my relationship with the Lord strong since my move:


     *Continue attending church regularly: I know I shared above that it has been hard for me to find a church home here, and I'm actually still not sure if I've found one yet, since I think the church I've been going to kind of lacks in community. But it's important to remember that church hopping is a process, and it is unlikely to find a great church with the first one that you visit. But this isn't an excuse to give up on going! I've actually written a whole blog post before on the importance of regularly attending church- and I'm not going to re-write everything that I said in the post here, but I'll just say that I still believe in everything in that post and stand behind all of it!


     *Regularly remind yourself of everything that you stand for: When you're living in a place where it's hard to find people who share all of your morals and values, it can be easy to let those go to the wayside. Peer pressure isn't something that goes away automatically after the school years are done, y'all! But it's so crucial to remember the standards that God holds His children to, and how to continue implementing those in your life. You never know- your behaviors (or lack of certain behaviors!) could be a huge silent but positive influence to people around you, even if they never tell you that it is.


     *Know that God puts trials into your life for a reason: I don't think it's any accident that my first job was in a place like Vermont. There is a reason (beyond just the radio industry!) that I've ended up living here for the time being, and God didn't do it by accident. He puts trials into our lives to teach us to rely more on Him and Him alone. Living in a more secular place is definitely a trial, but something that I've been telling myself a lot is that there is a reason why God thought I could/should handle this right now in my life! Maybe it's so I can use my story of this point in my life to encourage someone else later on. Maybe I'll be a light for Christ for someone who wouldn't have heard His Message here in my new home. Maybe something else. But there is a reason that I live in a place like this right now, and have been struggling to find Christian community. God knows that reason, and in that I take comfort!


     *Seek Christian community in other ways: Even if your current physical location isn't providing you with a lot of faith based community, you can still seek it out virtually! I've been reaching out a lot to Christian friends of mine, both those in North Carolina and also many that I have met through blogging over the years. I need to give a special shout-out to my blogger friend Rachel from Something Delightful! Not only does she have the most adorable fashion blog, but Rachel has become a good friend outside of blogging, and I am always in awe of her strong faith. Rachel sends me many texts of encouragement and sometimes it's something as small as that to brighten my day and point me back to Jesus.



     Have any of you ever moved to (or currently live in) a more secular place where it's hard to find Christian community? What types of things did you do to help cope and still strengthen your faith?



     God Bless,


 
     xoxo Annaliese (or Charlotte XO on the radio!)

Faith... and Fashion Blogging?!

Photo Credit: Emily Sacra Photography

     Happy Christmas Eve Day! In honor of this special holiday, I wanted to take a little break from my usual fashion posts or life updates and instead talk about something deeper that has been on my heart lately.


     The past semester has been the first semester of college that I've felt like I've finally been able to tackle blogging regularly and being a full-time student (as well as all of the other things that I do at school!). My blog saw a lot of growth and new opportunities in the past few months, and I dove more into the fashion side of my blog then ever before. I absolutely love writing and creating fashion content- it brings me so much joy to be able to share my outfits and what trends that I'm loving with y'all, and to hopefully also provide fashionable inspiration to fellow gals out there who are trying to dress well on a budget!

     In the almost three and a half years that I've had this blog, I've always been very honest and upfront with my readers about the fact that I'm a Christian. I attended a Christian college (in the Bible  Belt nonetheless- haha!) during my freshman year, and one of my favorite topics to blog about in past years was what that experience was like, and also what it was like to transfer to a non-Christian college. I've also never been ashamed to write about things like bible verses that encourage me, or the fact that I try and attend church each week. So in that sense- I don't really feel like my faith is "hidden." I don't think it's a shock to anyone who knows me, both in my personal life or on my blog, that my faith and values are important to me.

     But at the same time- at the beginnings of my blog, I used to be a lot more comfortable with going in depth about my thoughts and feelings on certain faith or moral issues. I believe that all Christians are called to share God's truths. (They're called to do this in love of course- not in the judgmental, cold, and often hypocritical way that so many people that claim to be of the faith do. But to actually share the message of Jesus and the rules that God lays out for His people in a loving and friendly way.) For me, writing about things that I felt God put on my heart on my blog was my way of sharing His truths. You never know who will stumble across a blog, and what that person experiencing. Someone who seeks out a fashion blog might be a person who would never seek out a bible or a church, but they could be exposed to God's love and Word through a platform like this.


     Yet over the past year, as my blog has become more of a professional venture on my part, I find myself becoming more and more hesitant with sharing things like this with all of you. As I said earlier, I have no problems mentioning in certain posts about my faith, or how it impacts my life, but trying to share some of my more conservative views or just writing general posts about faith in general are things that I've shied away from. But with 2016, approaching, I don't know if I want to do that anymore!!

     
     So to my reader friends, I would appreciate any feedback on this post. :-) The majority of my blog's content will still be fashion based, but I want to know your honest thoughts about what you think of posts where I include my more personal and faith-related views! Is this something that you would like to see more of on Southern Belle in Training in 2016? (To give you an idea of some of the things that I'm thinking about blogging about, it could be topics including but not limited to: drinking alcohol / nightlife and being a Christian, church attendance in college, premarital sex, or just sharing more about bible verses, devotionals or other Christian books that have been blessings to me!)



     I hope that all of you are having a very Merry Christmas Eve / Christmas Day! New posts will return next week.


     "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." -Luke 2:11


     xoxo Miss ALK

   

Book Review: Embracing the Love God Wants You to Have

   

     Last month I was gifted a copy of the new book Embracing the Love God Wants You to Have by Taffi Dollar from publisher Harper Collins! I hadn't read anything by this author before, but I love Christian inspirational books, so I was excited to see what this book was like. 

      Embracing the Love God Wants You to Have is a devotional, but the reading sections in it are longer then some popular devotionals (such as Jesus Calling). The way the book is formatted is that after several reading sections there will be a journaling space with some writing prompts based off of the past few reading sections, and there are also a few goals and challenges to implement in your own life based on what you have read, as well as suggested prayers. I have read other devotional books set up in this format before, but what I liked best about this book is that in the introduction Dollar writes to specifically not rush through the book. "The important thing to remember as you read and work your way through this book is that we cannot put love on a timetable. God loves us." she writes. I love that! 

     In this book, Dollar explores the many components of what love means in a Christian sense. Each reading section begins with a bible verse, and then Dollar's writings in that section elaborate her thoughts and interpretions on the verse. She also uses lots of real life applications and examples. Some topics from the first section of the book include "God's Love in Unconditional," "God's Love Casts Out Fear," and "God Meets Us Where We Are." I have found each of the sections so far to be very relevant to my life, and all of the readings to be very encouraging! Dollar's writing style is very warm- it almost feels as though she is talking to me and sitting right across from me in a coffee shop instead of me reading her book! 

     Here is a passage from the introduction that really stuck out to me: "For many reasons, we've come to think that love is 'out there somewhere.' We've come to believe that love is something that we have to seek and find. We have to know what love is to experience it. In this book I will help you recognize God's love is alread present in your life." This quote really sums up the message of the book- and I think that Ms. Dollar does a fabulous job with her mission!

     I would recommend this book to anyone who is possibly undergoing a season of doubt in their faith, or just simply wants to explore the concept of God's love more in depth. Or honestly, it is a good and heartwarming read for anyone! 

     Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. -Psalms 91:14

     I hope that everyone is having a great start to their weekend! I have family from my dad's side that is visiting from New York this weekend so I will be hanging out with them when I'm not at work. :-) Be sure to stay tuned for what is possibly my favorite fashion post ever- coming to the blog on Monday! Here's a sneak peak! (Picture by my friend Shara of Shara Lynn Photography.)

      

     xoxo Miss ALK

On singleness.

Seeing the preview of next week's Bachelorette episode in the Dominican Republic made me miss their beautiful beaches!! (Other then that this picture has no relation to the blog post ;-) )

      In the earlier days of Southern Belle in Training, singleness was a topic that I wrote about a lot. In the past year, my blog has shifted to become more fashion focussed overall, and most of my personal posts are about college life or my faith. Those are both great topics to write personal posts about, but I started feeling over the past week like God was putting it on my heart to write about singleness on the blog again. At first I kept putting it off, but over time this post started to write itself in my head, so I knew I needed to get the words down and into a blog post draft. :-)

     What inspired this post is this wonderful article on singleness that I read last week. It's from a website for Christian teenage girls called Project Inspired. The name of the article is pretty self-explanatory: "I've Never Kissed A Guy Or Dated. Am I Being Too Picky? Advice?" and the fact that the title of it was so blunt made me want to read it!! Most of Project Inspired's articles are geared for middle or high school aged girl's, but this article was actually written for college aged single girls like myself. And I related to it so much... seriously, so much that it was almost scary!

     I don't just want to spend this whole post paraphrasing the Project Inspired article (mainly because I want y'all to read it!), but what I will say is that it's tough to be what I call "single with a purpose" during the late teen years or early 20s. These are the years when it seems so many of my peers are just hooking up with every person that is willing, and another good chunk of my peers are in the serious relationships that I so I want and desire. And wanting a serious relationship isn't a bad thing at all! It's a desire given by God, and things that come from Him are good. But, all things come in His Timing, and His Timing alone. If I want to avoid the culture of hook-ups and heartbreak that so many of my peers are partaking in, then that might mean that my season of singleness has to last awhile longer. I don't know when it will end exactly, but God does, and I know that He's shaping me into the best person that I can be in the meantime (and hopefully doing so with my future guy as well!).

     Some days are better then others days as far as singleness goes. But then there are the hard days. The days where it really does seem like all of my close girlfriends are in relationships, and it does get harder and harder to be happy for theml. The days when I have a rough day at school or at work, and all that I want is a cute guy to cuddle with and to tell me it will be okay (Just being honest here! haha). Sometimes I think about all of the places in Maine or in Charlotte that I would love to take a guy on fun dates to. Etc etc etc. But, the sad moments always pass, and I remember everything that I wrote in the previous paragraph. I am 100% trusting in God's plan for my life, including my love life! It might be hard to get through now, but I know that the Lord has my best interests at hand (and for anyone reading this, He has your best interests at hand, too!).


     Do any of you have thoughts on singleness or dating? This is definitely a topic that's very relevant to me right now ;-) so feel free to leave a comment!


     xoxo Miss ALK
   

Book Review: Pulling Back the Shades

     About a month ago,  Icon Media Group sent me a book to review. The first time I had worked with Icon was over the winter, when they had sent me a copy of Beth Moore's newest devotional, Whispers of Hope (read my review here!). I was thrilled when I was contacted again about reviewing another book, and even more excited when I found out that it was the newest book from one of my favorite Christian authors. I have gotten to review Pulling Back the Shades, by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery. This is a book that covers some heavier subject matter. Here is the description that Icon Media sent to me: "Pulling Back the Shades exposes the danger of erotica for both single and married women. Dr. Slattery and Gresh examine erotica from a spiritual and sexual standpoint, providing Biblical teaching, personal stories and testimonies from those affected by erotica to help women navigate this uncharted territory and discover how to embrace their sexuality and spirituality. While the Bible is clear on topics such as adultery and incest, Slattery and Gresh point out where even God is “grey” on sexual matters." Gresh and Dr. Slattery felt that God was calling them to author this book in response to the recent erotica "craze" after the publication of the best-selling book 50 Shades of Grey a couple of years ago. I have noticed that in the Christian community a lot of attention seems to be given to men who have a porn addiction, but I haven't heard of very much for women who might struggle with the same lustful thoughts, so props to Gresh and Dr. Slattery!

     I have been a long-time fan of author Dannah Gresh, so I was interested to see what this book would be like, although the subject matter is a bit heavy. I'll start by saying that this book is very readable, and the two authors did a good job of making these topics as least-awkward as possible! The first couple of chapters focus on the reasons why women (including Christian women) are reading and purchasing erotic literature in such high numbers. Gresh and Dr. Slattery discuss the many reasons that lead to how easy it is for readers to get sucked into the fantasy world that these books and stories create, which can cause addicition to erotica and also for consequences in the readers' real lives.

     The middle chapters discuss what the bible says is right and wrong in regards to sex. Gresh and Dr. Slattery also discuss some "grey" areas which aren't directly mentioned in the bible. A lot of helpful bible verses are cited in these chapters, from both the Old and New Testaments of the bible.

     And the conclusion of the book offers an alternative to ertotica: becoming spiritually satisfied through Christ. The story of Jesus and the woman and the well is shared, and I love this passage that Dannah Gresh wrote at the end of the chapter:

     "An intimate walk with Jesus isn't reserved for 'super Christians.' He promises, 'You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart' (Jeremiah 29:13). You only have as much of God as you really want. So I ask, are you hungry for Him? Are you so thirsty for His love that you would dive headfirst into a well to be satisfied?"


     As will all Dannah Gresh books, I loved this book, and it was so excellent that I think every young woman should read it!! I originally read this book solely for the purpose of reviewing it on my blog, and I was able to get so much more out of it then expected! It definitely made me think a lot about how my media and literary choices affect me (at one point Dannah even writes about how even reading too much Christian romance can be a bad thing if you let it become an obsession). I could definitely relate to that- there have been times in the past when I have turned to reading romance novels because I was so tired of being single, but this book reminded me how that can actually be a dangerous thing to do. I also loved the spiritual content in the last two chapters.

    
     Thank-you Icon Media for sending me Pulling Back the Shades! It was a pleasure to review it.


     xoxo Miss ALK

Finding joy.

     This is without a doubt the craziest week of the semester for me! Today I have a big French test, and by the weekend I need to have a video that's between one and five minutes filmed and edited for my digital media class. I also have to be in at my internship for an extra day this week, and I have three mandatory sorority events that I need to be at. I had to go to a mandatory meeting for sophomores at my college yesterday, and Thursday is my class advising appointment, so I need to have my schedule in place for the fall. Plus there's my off-campus bible study tonight, and two babysitting jobs later in the week... plus my regular every day stuff! (And more homework that I'm probably forgetting.) Whew!

     Normally a week that's this busy would stress me out to the max, and probably put me in a bad mood. When I get stressed it's often hard for me to stay positive, and the smallest things can upset me. But this week, I'm staying positive. Why? Because I heard the most amazing message on joy this past Sunday.

   

Beautiful flowers at our hotel in the Dominican Republic.

     I have been blessed to find a wonderful church here in Charlotte that I look forward to attending every Sunday. But from Tuesday until Thursday night of last week, I had a terrible headache (probably technically a migraine), and I was still catching up on stuff over the weekend, as well as recovering. Long headaches tend to suck the energy out of you! So I decided to stay in from church this weekend. But I still wanted to hear a message, so I decided to go through my downloaded podcasts on iTunes. Sometimes when I have a free moment I like to browse the religious podcasts on iTunes and download ones that look interesting.

     I found a two part podcast series on joy in my iTunes library. I had listened to part one last summer, but part two was waiting for me. The podcast was apart of the Back to the Bible series, which are podcasts sponsored by Christian radio organization Oneplace.com. Back to the Bible is lead by bible scholar Dr. John Munro.

     This podcast encouraged me so much. I felt like everything that Dr. Munro was saying was exactly what I needed to hear! The key bible verse cited during the program was from 1 Peter.


     "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy..." -1 Peter 1:8 NIV


     Dr. Munro spent much of part two of the podcast series discussing the difference between happiness and joy. To summarize, happiness depends on circumstances and mood, but joy is something that is more meaningful and something that believers should always be filled with! Just think about it, we are able to have a personal relationship with the LORD of the universe! How amazing is that! He is always with us, and He cares so deeply for us. These are things that I have known now for a long time, but when Dr. Munro said that and then explained how that should be a source of joy for us, something suddenly clicked in my head.

More flowers from the DR.

     True joy is something that I think I need a bit more of in my life. I have always tended to let little things get to me, and sometimes even if one thing goes wrong it can ruin my whole day. Since hearing this message on Sunday, I have been perpetually reminding myself to "find joy" in everything. And so far it's been working! This past Monday was a super long day for me, and it was also raining and 34 degrees out. I am beyond sick of winter weather, and it is getting quite late in Charlotte for temperatures this cold in the daytime!! I also found out on Monday that I was mischarged at a restaurant recently so that is another thing that I have to deal with. But through everything, I managed to have a positive attitude, and I was even able to make time to do a devotion in the midst of the business.

     Both parts of the broadcast on joy that I listened to can be found on the archives for Back to the Bible. You will have to select "November 2013" for the month, and then the program I listened to was "Joyful Living: Be Thankful" parts one and two. This program really touched me, I honestly barely even got into all of it in this blog post!


     My blog has been getting to be a bit more fashion and beauty focussed lately, and those are two things that I love to post about! But I am a Christian, and I never want to let my faith disappear from this blog. I love writing these types of posts as well!

     Also, any prayers for me to get through my crazy busy week would be appreciated!! Seriously, I can't remember the last time that I had a week this crazy. No sophomore slump for me! ;-)


     xoxo Miss ALK

Happy tears.

     Do you ever have a day where everything just seems to go right? That was Tuesday, February 4, 2014 for me. (Aka, yesterday).


     I woke up with a headache, which is never fun, but I was determined not to let that get the best of me. Right away I knew things were starting to look up when I did my make-up in the morning and my eyeliner came out perfectly. Perfectly, y'all. That doesn't happen very often! I was also excited because I started playing with a makeup palette that I had bought in England (from a European makeup brand), and I found a couple of beautiful rose gold shadows in there that looked similar to the colors in the very popular Urban Decay Naked3 palette. Now these two things probably don't seem that significant to all of you, but they got my mind off my headache, and that's when things started getting better and better!

     Yesterday afternoon my wonderful internship boss had arranged for me and my fellow interns to take a tour of some of the major radio stations in Charlotte. We got to meet with several of the DJs and radio staff, and it was just awesome. I have loved the field of radio for a long time, and I've also blogged many times about my passion for radio. But yesterday during the tour, I just had this feeling of peace in my heart that radio is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. Kind of like how when I was a senior in high school I had an overwhelming feeling that I was supposed to go to school down South (and that certainly worked out!). And that feeling of peace was intensified when one of the DJs that we met with said that a skill that all aspiring radio personalities should have is a knowledge of blogging and basic web design.... I almost did a happy dance y'all! Who knew that this fun hobby of mine could someday help me with my job search?

Me and my wonderful fellow interns!! 

     My day got even better when I attended a small group sign-up event at the church that I've been going to over the past few months. After finally finding a church here in Charlotte that I felt at home in, I have been really wanting to get more connected in it (it's a very large church). I found a women's small group that will fit perfectly into my crazy schedule, and I have a feeling that this group is going to grow both my faith and myself as a person! I can't wait to see the blessings that will come from getting involved at my new church.

     And lastly, I received some wonderful compliments yesterday. One was from my boss at my internship. I recently interviewed her for a short film that I had to make for one of my digital media classes, and she loved the finished product way more than I was expecting! I also sent the video to my parents and they were very impressed. And the other compliments came from a couple of my sweet sorority sisters. I know I have mentioned here before that I recently became the chaplain of my chapter of ADPi for 2014. Today I sent out my first "weekly encouragement" e-mail with a few bible verses and thoughts to my sisters, and the fact that a couple sisters wrote back letting me know how much they enjoyed that just made my day even better! :-)


     All of these wonderful things combined lead me to crying happy tears on two seperate occasions yesterday! One was right after the radio station tour, I called my mom and started bawling because I was so overwhelmed with the fact that I know exactly what my passion is and what I want to do with my life. The other time was after reading those e-mail from my sorority sisters. The biggest passions in my life right now are my Christian faith, radio, and this blog, and I feel as though all three of those things played a part in my great day yesterday!

     I just feel so crazy blessed to have my life be this good right now. I am in such a great place! After suffering with severe anxiety (and a semester of depression) during my high school years, this is a welcome change. Last year was a better year for me then high school, but it also brought it's own stressors which ultimately lead to me transferring colleges. And then there was last semester... which wasn't great on many levels. But finally 2014 is here, and it's already bringing so many amazing opportunities and experiences! I have finally come to a place where I have a love and appreciation for both my hometown and my former school, but am LOVING life in Charlotte.


     I guess the only thing that isn't great in my life right now is the fact that I'm still single and severely failing to mingle. But I can finally say that I'm so content with everything else in my life that I'm learning to enjoy singleness. I am trusting more than ever in God's plan for my love life, and just like the peace that I have about working in radio, I have a peace that He will bring me the right guy at the right time. And it's okay if right now isn't the time... goodness, I have plenty of other things to cry happy tears about! The guy can wait a little while, things already seem too good to be true. ;-)


      "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19 NIV


     xoxo Miss ALK
   

Why I say no to alcohol.

     It hit me a few days ago that while I've said many times on this blog (and my old blog) that I don't drink alcohol (or do drugs, but I think that's kind of a given), but I've never said why it is that I don't drink. There's a variety of factors that influence my decision, and I thought that writing everything out might make for an interesting blog post.

Image via Google Images

Why I didn't drink in high school:

1. My parents: this is the number one reason why drinking in high school never interested me. I suppose another reason is that the crowd that I hung out with was not into drinking at the time, but I believe my parents were the main reason. My mom and dad are not into drinking, and I can count the number of times in my lifetime that I've seen them drink alcohol on one hand. (I distinctly remember how when my family went on a Caribbean cruise when I was seven and my dad ordered a beer on one of our island stops, I thought that something was wrong with him because I'd never seen him drink before). The only alcohol that is in my home in Maine is a few bottles that my mom occasionally uses for cooking, that's it. Nothing else. So not only did I not really grow up around alcohol, but my parents also educated me on the dangers from a young age. There is a history of alcoholism on my mom's side of the family (both my grandfather and great-grandfather died from illnesses related to it), and there's a lot of mental illness on my dad's side of the family. Mental illness + alcoholism = BAD NEWS, and my parents always stressed that to me growing up. They were also very clear that if I drank in high school at a party or friend's house there would be SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES. No more phone, computer, car... etc. I wish I could say that I didn't want to drink in high school because I wanted to honor my mother and father like the Bible says to... but the truth is I was too scared to have my favorite possessions taken away from me, so I chose not to drink more out of fear. Also, as I said earlier, a good majority of my high school friends were not into drinking at the time. Most of the party kids at my high school didn't like me, so I was never really around students my age drinking.

Why I don't drink in college:

1. The Law: I've always been big on following the legal system. And in the United States, it is ILLEGAL to consume alcohol if you are under the age of 21. NO BUTS (college parties are not exceptions folks!). I am currently a citizen of the United States, living in the state of North Carolina, and I'm under the age of 21. So yeah...
2. My faith: I don't believe that the Bible comes right out and condones drinking... goodness, Jesus turned water into wine! But the Bible definitely does warn against when drinking distracts you from staying focussed on your faith in the Lord and living out your faith with others. Ephesians 5:18 says "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit..." (NIV). There are enough things in my daily life that distract me enough from my faith; social media, schoolwork, friends, crushes, family, fashion....etc. I certainly don't need to add something that's currently illegal for me to that!
3. My parents: My parents' influence is still a big part of my decision not to drink while I'm underage. Minus my textbooks, they pay for all of my college expenses. That's a lot of their money! They have also been so supportive of me going to school out of state, and I thank them immensly for not making me stay close to home for college, and instead letting me go where I wanted. After all of that, I couldn't even think about drinking because I know how much they would be dissapointed in me. 
4. My family history: I wrote in an earlier paragraph about the history of alcoholism and mental illness in my parents' families. As I'm getting older, things like family health history start to matter more to me. There is research that shows if you start drinking under the age of 21 then you have a much greater risk of becoming an alcoholic. Since alcoholism is already present in my family then that means my risk is higher to begin with, and that's something that I just don't need to mess with!
5. My headaches: Since I got sick with a bad virus/sinus infection combo for about a month during my freshman year of college, I get bad headaches. This past summer I was getting headaches several days a week. Now it has slowed down to about once or twice a week, but they still hurt a lot. They aren't quite like migraines, more like throbbing in my temples. I never had headaches before I got sick... but I guess the headaches are here to stay (I've seen a doctor about it and they didn't offer me any solutions). Oftentimes my headaches are accompanied with severe lightheadedness. It's gotten a little better since I started my sophomore year, but this summer my lightheadedness was often so bad that I couldn't drive and would have to cancel plans because of it. Anyways, I've heard that even way before a person is "drunk" alcohol can make them experience this. I HATE feeling lightheaded and it makes me feel weak and powerless. When I get those feelings enough in my daily life, why would I drink a beverage that would increase those feelings?!
6. My safety: So many bad things can happen to a college girl that has been drinking. I wouldn't be worried that I would drive drunk (I have a hard enough time driving when I have a headache!), but I am more worried that I would unknowingly get into a car with someone who had too much to drink and then decided to drive. I also worry about date rape, or even being taken advantage of in ways that aren't quite as "far as" sex (such as a creepy guy making out with me or something). Oftentimes alcohol also leads to violence, and I wouldn't want to be around any drunken fights.

     

     These are my reasons why I'm choosing not to drink while I'm underage. I have not yet decided my thoughts about both drinking if I'm out of the country, or drinking after my 21st birthday. I believe that both of these things are personal convictions, and Christians should be respectful of others' views. My parents have told me that they would prefer that I never drink at all (even after I'm legal) because of my family history. I respect their opinion very much, but I also realize that once I am legal they won't be able to decide for me anymore whether I can or can't drink. 

     In December I'm going to be travelling to the United Kingdom with my parents over Christmas. The legal drinking age there is 18, so I would be allowed to consume alcohol. Since I have never really tried more than just a few sips (in the presence of my mom cooking) I have thought about wanting to try a drink in a restaurant or pub while we're there, but since my parents will be with me on the trip I doubt that will happen. 

     I do think that alcohol used in cooking is a wonderful invention though... my favorite type of pasta sauce is vodka sauce, and one of my favorite types of cake is rum cake. The good part about these things is that most of the actual alcohol burns off in cooking, so all that's left is the flavor! :-)

     Lastly, I want to say that while these are my views on drinking underage, I try not to be judgemental of those who do drink before they're 21. Most of my friends from high school drink now, and since my new college is not a dry campus like my old school, I often see alcohol in my building. Luckily the school monitors pretty well and doesn't tolerate traditional "college parties," but underage drinking definitely happens here. I am blessed though to have friends and sorority sisters who respect my decision not to drink and do not try and pressure me. 

     What are your thoughts on underage drinking? If you're under 21, do you drink? If you're over 21, what are your thoughts? I'd love to hear! The comments on this post are a judgement-free zone. :-)

     xoxo Miss ALK

From failure to triumph.

     According to the world's standards, I am a failure.


     I am almost 19 years old, and I have never had a boyfriend. I've never been kissed, I've never been asked by a guy to be his date to a dance or formal event, and I've certainly never been in love. Today's teen culture isn't made for girls like me. Messages everywhere scream that the only way to be happy at this age is to have a boyfriend, and that there's something wrong with you if you haven't experienced dating yet.

      A lot of these messages come from the media. One example that I found recently was in a recent issue of Cosmo magazine. I don't regularly read Cosmo because of its explicit content, but my grandma somehow ended up with a subscription and asked me to take an issue home so I could call and cancel it for her. I noticed that there was a special section in that issue on college life, and I thought I'd take a peek at what the magazine had to say. One of the college articles was solely on "hooking up" and how to make your sex and dating life extra spicy for the coming school year. I believe 100% that today's hook-up culutre is wrong, and isn't what the Lord instead for His children, but reading about the sex lives of girls the same age as me definitely made me think that I have some catching up to do in the dating department, and left me feeling terribly about myself.

     The messages aren't always as bold and straightforward as Cosmo articles. Every single popular teen television drama these days features some sort of dating relationship or hook-up between characters. Even if the main plot of the TV show isn't about sex and dating (such as Pretty Little Liars, a mystery show), you can bet all of that stuff is going to be there. I've said before that my favorite TV show in the world is 7th Heaven. I loved this show because it emphasized Christian and family values, but even with that, all of the show's main teenage characters started dating by the time they were in early high school. There's quite a few make-out scenes throughout the seasons. Television shows might not be coming right out and saying "You're weird if you haven't started dating yet," but these themes can sure make a person feel that way.

     One thing that seems to have become increasingly romance and significant other focussed is Christmas. This wonderful holiday should be all about celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus, but instead it seems to have become almost more love infested than Valentines! There's tons of Christmas songs all about finding true love, or mourning the fact that your love won't be there to celebrate with you that year. There's the photos that everyone sees on social media of girls bragging about what their boyfriends or husbands got them for Christmas. And what about the whole idea of kissing someone under the mistletoe? With all of this and more combined, it's no wonder that girls that are still single can feel pretty down in the dumps throughout the month of December.

     And then there are the messages that come through real life instances. Those moments that come year after year as your see the fellow high school (and now college) students from your home church attending services with their significant others. The moments when the seven and eight year olds from my short stint as a day camp counselor say things to me like "Why don't you have a boyfriend? You're 18, you're supposed to have a boyfriend!"

     And the hardest moments are when your realize that you've seen every single one of your high school friends go through at least one dating relationship. These moments are when one of your girlfriends shares to you with excitment that the guy she's liked has asked her out, or when a friend tells you about the cute thing that her boyfriend did for her this week. Those moments come when some of these relationships hit a rough patch or come to an end, and your girls call you and cry to you on the phone about how terrible their love lives are, when all the while I'm just thinking to myself I'd give just about anything to have experienced love, or a guy's admiration. At least you got to know what it feels like! How can you be venting to me- I clearly don't know anything about any of this stuff!

     .....

     When I see all of this written out, all I can think to myself is how I've failed and failed in the dating and relationships department by the world's standards. There must be something wrong with me, or I must be too prude or too picky about guys, or just plain unlucky. Whatever the reason, I'm not doing too well.


     But thankfully, God's standards give my dating life (or current lack-thereof) a totally different view. God does the same for every other teenager girl or 20-something young woman that has a similar story to mine. How His heart must break when us ladies cry and complain about not being in love with an earthly man... when God sent his Son to endure torture and die for us, and wants nothing more than for us to fall completely in love with Jesus! Something that I've been trying to tell myself lately is Jesus is enough. If I am able to someday develop a truly strong and unwavering faith in Him, then I will have the greatest gift ever. A gift one million times better than any bouqet of flowers from a boyfriend, a diamond ring from a fiance, or the wedding of my dreams to a husband.

     Even though falling in love with the Lord should be enough for anyone, God is good enough to provide precious romantic relationships to many Christians. The beauty of relationships done is His timing is that they will be God-honoring and pure, and the type of relationships that can last through the years and stay strong through any trials or hardships. When someone will enter into this type of relationship one cannot predict, but God knows. In the bible it says:

     "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

     I'm definitely desiring a relationship with a wonderful at this point in my life. But all that I can do right now is surrender this desire to the Lord, and trust that He knows what's best for me and will bring someone into my life when the timing is right.

     Until then, I will triumph in the fact that yes, I am almost 19 years old and yes, I have been able to keep purity a priority in my life! I can be happy that my first kiss will be shared someday with the first guy who treats me the way that I'm supposed to be treated, and not just with some random guy that will leave my life as soon as he entered. I can be relieved with the fact that since I'm not having sex I don't have to worry about STD's, pregnancy, birth control or any other worries that come with premarital sex. I can be glad that since I don't have a romantic relationship right now I can take this time to work on the areas of my personality that need some work, and try and make myself the best person that I can be before adding a second person into every asepect of my life.

     And most importantly, I can triumph in how I'm proud of myself for being what I think is a great example of a modern and independent young woman who keeps up with the trends, yet still places her faith first and has fallen in love with God's plan for her love life.


     Single girls: will you join me in being triumphant?


     xoxo Miss ALK


     P.S. This post was written mainly as a way to cheer myself up after I felt the "single girl blues" creeping on me this past weekend. Writing all of my thoughts down in this post made me feel so much better, and I hope that I was able to encourage some others in the process! :-) 
     

Doubting decisions and letting go.

      Yesterday I went to the beach in the morning with my high school friend Jules. She was a grade behind me and just graduated from our high school last weekend. With our cancelled flight leaving Vegas I was unable to make it to her graduation party, so we met up today so I could hear about everything and give her a graduation gift.

     Our high school has a tradition of planning a huge project graduation celebration for the seniors instead of a senior trip. The project grad takes places right after graduation and is an all night celebration that concludes the next day. Jules and the rest of the class of 2013 had a really cool project grad planned, and as she told me about it I was amazed at the amount of activities they were able to cram into a 12 hour period. However the more she told me about it, the more I felt myself listening less to her stories and instead remembering my own graduation week last year...

Graduation day: June 2012

     I don't talk about my high school years too much on this blog, mainly because my old blog was written during this time in my life, and when I started college/this blog I wanted a fresh start. But the truth is, most of high school was a pretty bad time for me. All through the years I struggled with finding good friends, and was hurt by a lot of people that I thought I could trust. The week leading up to graduation was one of my worst high school memories. Several of the people in my class that I'd been good friends with for most of high school had planned a post-graduation trip to Florida, and I was the one of the only ones out of the friend group who wasn't invited. What hurt the most is that one of the girls going on the trip originally lied to me about it. These were the people that I'd planned to hang out with during marching practice and other graduation festitivies, but at the time I felt hurt and betrayed and kept to myself, which got very lonely. All of this and more triggered my anxiety, and I felt on edge and drained the whole week. God felt very far away. One afternoon after marching practice I took a nap (something I rarely used to do) and I remember that when I woke up I was crying so hard because all of the hurt and pain from the high school years was suddenly hitting me all at once. I was so upset that I couldn't even drive to my last Interact club meeting, my mom had to drop me off.

     Because of all this, I decided on my own not to attend my class's project graduation trip, even though it was the big event that all of the class fundraisers throughout the years had been supporting. At the time, it seemed like the right decision. I was overtired from the long and emotional week, and staying up all night after graduating didn't seem that appealing. And because of the Florida trip I was keeping my distance from the good friends that I'd had in my grade. I knew that things would eventually work out with all of us becuase I hate holding grudges, but at the time things were still too fresh. (Just so y'all know: things have been resolved. Time away at school and prayer allowed me to forgive the fact that I wasn't invited, and I still hang out with them sometimes when I come home from school). And besides for the people going on the Florida trip, I didn't really have any other friends in my class. A lot of the people in my grade hadn't been very friendly to me at all over the four years, and I doubted that would change at project grad.

Instagrammed version of some of the beautiful flowers given to me for graduation

     So after my graduation I ended up going to one of my favorite Chinese restaurants with my parents, an underclassman friend and some of my mom's family, and then went to bed early since I was tired. I'd been pretty confident in my decision about not attending project grad and I honestly haven't had that many moments of doubt that I did the wrong thing. But suddenly on Monday morning while Jules was telling me about her experience, I found myself getting angry about stuff that's over a year old. I was suddenly mad again about the fact that I didn't have a lot of friends in my class, and mad again about how I wasn't invited on that Florida trip. Mad that I wouldn't have had a good time if I had gone, even though I deserved to have a good time. I kept thinking Why am I doing this to myself right now? but I couldn't stop these thoughts.

      I've also ended up doubting a more recent decision that I made: working vs. an internship. I'm a communications major in college with the goal of being able to work in radio when I graduate. One of the keys to getting a good job in radio is to have as many internships on your resume as possible by graduation. The fact that I hosted a radio show all of freshman year at the college radio station is great, but a summer internship at a commerical radio station would look great as well. But being only 18 and with limited experience, there's no way that I could have gotten a paying internship this summer. And internships are a big time commitment, so there's no way that I could have had a job as well. My parents would have supported my choosing to have an internship instead of work, but they made sure I realized that without income this summer I wouldn't really have any spending money at school next year. Since the college that I'm transferring to is in a city (Translation: more places to spend money) and I'll hopefully be particpating in Greek life which will be extra expenses, I thought that getting a regular job would be the smart thing to do. And although I had a long job search process, many of you know that God blessed me with two part time summer jobs, both with very short commutes from my house.

My last visit to my former college's radio station: May 2012

     Like with the project grad situation, I was very confident in my work decision at first. I have enjoyed summer job #1 so far overall, and I'm excited to start job #2 this upcoming weekend. But then I started seeing pictures on Facebook for a couple girls from college that were also communications majors with interest in radio. Both of them chose internships in their hometowns instead of jobs this summer. They're both posting tons of pictures of them hanging out and having fun in real radio stations, and both have gotten to go on the air. All it took was seeing these pictures to make me start doubting my summer plans, and it made me miss the radio station environment. I know that working was the right decision for me at this time, and I'll appreciate the spending money once I start school. I also know that my new school has a fabulous internship program, and I'll at least get to do an internship during my junior year. But it's like all it takes for me is to see one person's Facebook update for me to doubt my decisions. It's like the grass is always greener on the other side.

     In reflecting on all of this I came to a realization: both of these situations that I have been stressing over in few days have been about this that I could control. No one was forcing me to go or not go on project grad, and no one decided for me whether I should have worked this summer or gotten an internship. I've always thought that being in control of a situation is the best feeling in the world. I'm not a very spontaneous person (Unless it involves a trip to Bojangles or Chick Fil A ;-)) and I like to be the decider of what I do and when I do it. I always thought that nothing bad could come with being in control, but I see now that it has its ups and downs.

     One of my goals for this summer is to let down a little bit of my need for control, since I've seen how it can affect me negatively as well. I also want to get in the mindset of when I make a decision, the decision is final and there's no need to dwell on it like I did in these situations. And thirdly, I want to start praying about more big decisions in my life and searching for God's guidance instead of just deciding things on my own. I like to be independent sometimes, but sometimes I also forget that I'm a child of God and sometimes I need to let Him take control instead. As far as the work vs. internship situation I can take comfort in knowing that if His plan was for me to have an internship, then I probably wouldn't have been offered two summer jobs near my home.

     "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 NIV


     Do any of you suffer with questioning your decisions and judgements? What are your tips for overcoming this and being confident in your choices and God's plan for you life?


     xoox Miss ALK


     P.S. Sorry if this post was a little jumbled and hard to follow. Sometimes I write posts that are more for my benefit as a way of venting, and this may have been one of them. ;-)

 

Ramblings on purity in the high school years.

     Around this time last year, I was preparing for high school graduation and my graduation party. Late one night (I'm talking like 2-3 am... before college I was never up that late!) I lay awake in my bed, unable to sleep. I suddenly had this urge to write a speech to give at my upcoming graduation party. My  head told me that logically it was too late for me to be doing anything except sleeping, but I somehow got out of bed and pulled out my laptop anyways. I wrote and wrote and wrote... and although I finished it the next day I ended up with a 12 page speech that personally addressed every single person that would be attending my graduation party- and the guest list had 80+ people! I wanted each person that was coming to know how they individually had touched my life. A few weeks later when I read my speech at the party, my parents and many other guests had tears in their eyes and were very grateful for my words. I smiled to myself and realized that my instinct to write late that one night had gone to good use.

     That was a really long intro, but I'm writing this at 12:30 am so I expect my writings not to flow as normally as they would during a post written in the daytime. Anyways, all night I kept feeling like something was tugging at my heart to write a blog post about purity tonight. I wasn't really sure where it came from, but this is something that I've been thinking about all day. When this happens to me I trust that these urges in me to pour out my heart come from none only then God himself, and I know that I best listen to Him!

     I know that not everyone who reads my blog is a Christian, and not everyone who reads shares the Christian view on purity. If you differ from me in these areas, please don't take the words that I'm about to write as a put-down. I hope that if anything you're encouraged by what I have to say, and might be able to see a different perspective in a new light. I just never want any of my readers to feel that I'm a judgemental girl who looks down on people that might have different faiths or different views on sex and purity. Whatever you believe, I'm glad that you've found your way to my blog, and I'm glad that you're reading this post!

     Anyways, to all of you, God has made it so clear to me lately that I need to wait. Not just wait to have sex until I'm married, but wait to get into a relationship in the first place. I know I've said this before on here, but I'll say it again. I never dated in high school. I suppose in the blogging community this isn't too unusual, but it sure was unusual at my high school. I went to a public high school with a very low Christian community. I was blessed to make a few good friends in the "goody-goody group" of my graduating class (people like me that had no desire to party or act rebellious), but even most of them dated at least one person in high school. I kept telling myself all through high school that God loved me so much, and that I didn't need to attention of an immature boy to feel complete, but I still couldn't make myself believe this. Looking back now I realize how truly crazy I got over the fact that I wasn't dating. So, so many tears were shed and I think that many of my bad moods used to come from moping about being single. Bless my mom's heart for putting up with me for years of that! I know that she would get frustrated with me at times, and now I honestly don't blame her!

     While a permanent case of being single in the high school years wasn't the only reason that I was depressed for part of my junior year of high school, I think that it was definitely a contributing factor. People's reactions to my situation didn't help much either. I remember that I met often with my school guidance counselor during my junior year, and once he made a comment that since I was such a nice young lady I must get lots of attention from the guys at school. I told him that the truth was quite the opposite, and that guys didn't ask me out and besides for a couple guy friends most boys at school didn't even glance in my direction. My guidance counselor was shocked, and kept saying "I just don't understand why they don't notice you." I think he meant that in a kind way, but his words hurt me even more. I kept crying out silently to God "Can't you see how jealous I am of all of my girlfriends that have special guys in their life? When is my turn going to come? Don't You know how much I would love a boyfriend, and how well I'd treat him?" I poked fun in these posts of my 9th grade self for doing this, but when I look back I wasted a lot of my high school years angry at God and angry at my situation.

     A lot of things lately have been pushing me towards my newfound joy and appreciation of purity (Including a great new post series by my blogging friend Jessica!), but perhaps what touched me the most was this article called "4 Benefits of Not Dating in High School" written by blogger Erin of Sweetness Itself. Erin actually wrote this for a Christian magazine called QUITE, but tonight she shared the link to it on her blog. I read it because the title intrigued me, and after reading it I was literally like "Wow. Just WOW. Where was this when I was in high school?!" Erin makes so many great points about how not dating in high school just benefits a life of purity, and reminded readers how much heartache you're protecting yourself from if you don't date. Erin also wrote about focussing on just developing good friendships with guys and girls during these years, instead of worrying about dating. Reading this reminded me of some fun times that I did share with my friends, times when I just was having fun and enjoying myself, and not stressing about being single. Oh- how I wish I had treasured those times more when they were happening! Oftentimes after hanging out with high school friends I would go home and mope about not having a boyfriend, instead of thanking God for the lovely times that I just shared.

     I just want to say that if you are in high school and you are dating someone, or did date someone seriously in high school, I'm not saying that it's all bad! People mature at different times, and some girls and guys are ready for serious, committed relationships when they are in their early teen years. I know many bloggers that started dating their spouses when they were in high school, including a few of my favorite bloggers like Elle and McKenzie. God just clearly intends for some people to meet the right person a little earlier, and that's totally fine! 

     But what I am saying is that if you're a single high school girl and reading this post, know the things that I wish my high school self had known:

1. A relationship with Jesus and the Heavenly Father will bring much more joy into your life then a guy ever could.
2. It says in the Psalms that when we put our trust and joy into our relationship with the Lord, he will bless us with more than we could ever imagine, and for many girls that means a Godly guy when the time is right! Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalms 37:4 NIV
3. God's timing is always perfect. Whether you're 15 and dating the love of your life or 35 and still single, God has a specific reason for why you're in the state you are, and His ways are always good.
4. I think this one is especially important: The first Christian guy that comes into your life is not necessarily "the one." I blogged in this post about how during my first semester of college I unintentionally "lead on" one of the first Christian guys that I met at school, and how much conflict and pain was caused when both of us rushed and tried too hard to envision a relationship. Girls- it is so important to take your time in getting to know guys that you are interested in! I learned the hard way that you can't get too close to a person in such a short amount of time. Good things come to those who wait- and that means taking your time in getting to know someone, and not rushing certain things before they're supposed to happen! 

       Love between a man and woman is designed for lifetime companionship, not for teenagers to play around with and not take seriously. High school friends- know that your beauty is not found in admiration from the opposite sex, but instead from the One who knew you before you were even born. I'm sharing my heart and experiences with you because I hope to influence someone not to do what I did and make your high school years a time of moping and complaining and pity parties. Rise above this culture's "norms" for high school dating, and wait on God's timing!

     Feedback on this post is much appreciated! I'd love to read what you ladies (or any guys reading this) think.

     xoxo Miss ALK

I did it!

     I found out yesterday afternoon that I got into the school that I have been wanting to transfer to! I was also awarded a merit scholarship so everything should come together financially. I've made it through over a month of waiting time since I applied, and that was the longest month ever! I am so excited now for sophomore year- instead of going to school in a small college town I'll be living in a Southern city. My new school also has Greek life and I can't wait to hopefully be able to join a sorority! And of course most importantly I hope to become involved with the Christian clubs at my new school and to be able to see my faith grow even more in the next 3 years.

     Of course I was so happy about this that yesterday evening after I parked my car outside of my suite building at school I locked not only my car keys but also my room keys, cell phone, laptop, and spare car key in my car! Whoops. Thank goodness university police was able to help me out in time for Dancing With the Stars. :-)

      In honor of all of this excitement, here is a brilliant video that I stumbled upon this past weekend. *NSYNC performing "It's Gonna Be Me" at the 2000 MTV Movie Awards. This is a boy band gem right here. Just look at their outfits! Enjoy.

   
    
     "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving , present your requests to God." -Philippians 4:6


     xoxo Miss ALK