May 22, 2017

Relationship Monday: An Open Letter To The Boy Who Broke My Heart.

     Welcome back to my monthly Relationship Monday blog post series! After taking a little hiatus from these during my travels/move/starting my new job, I'm bringing it back with a very personal post. This has been a situation that I've been processing and dealing with for the past few months. Basically- 2016 was a pretty crappy year for lack of a better term, and during these months last year I hid a lot of what was going on in my real life from the blogging side of my life.

     I debated sharing about what I'll be talking about today here on my blog for a long time because it is personal, and the story doesn't just involve me but also another person, but I've come to conclude that blogging is my best form of stress relief and healing. I don't just write here because I like to talk about fashion and share my outfits. I also blog to share real life experiences, and sometimes real life is really messy. I've definitely shared before about personal topics on my blog... but never one that felt THIS personal, if that makes sense.

      So, that all goes to say... it finally took a few months to dawn on me that most people also go through heartbreak, and while painful, it is a relatable topic. Obviously there are parts to this story that I have left out for my own privacy and the other person's, but for the most part, it's all here. So here we go- after a very long blog post intro.... An Open Letter To The Boy Who Broke My Heart:





     I've fallen in love only once in my life, and I remember the exact moment that it happened. I fell in love in a parking lot.



     You came into my life when I least expected it, and that's when they say it always happens. (Who is "they" anyways?) But when I say "least expected," I mean "least expected." With all that was going on in my life last fall, I wasn't looking to date anyone at all. I was trying to make broadcasting school, my job, and beginning my internship search my top three priorities, in addition to the other painful (legal) situation happening in my life at the time. So there was no time in there for boys and crushes and the potential of falling for someone.


      But of course- that's when it happened! Meeting you at the most unexpected time in my life. And in yours too I suppose. Right from the first week that we had met, it felt like I had known you for years. As we got to know each other more and more, sometimes I had to remind myself that I hadn't gone to college with you and spent the last few years with you. But to contradict myself, at the same time- it wasn't surprising at all that you didn't go to my college. You were kind, friendly, hardworking, a gentleman, and most importantly, you had the strongest faith of anyone I've ever met. That is a quality that I never found in a single boy in my three years at Queens University, and one that I waited for and prayed for and guarded my heart for all throughout college. Sure - guarding my heart doesn't mean that I didn't go out on occasional dates in college and try my hand at dating apps. But I never did have a serious boyfriend in college, because I knew my standards meant finding someone who shared my faith in Christ, and a boy who had those same priorities just wasn't at my university and apart of my path during my college years. So I guarded my heart and waited and waited. And then you came along.


     First you became my best friend, and that in itself happened quickly (too quickly). We had the same sense of humor, which was quite magical looking back on it. It didn't take long for me to think about things moving beyond friends. The chemistry was there, you had the qualities of the type of guy that I was looking for, and all the feelings were there for me. It was what I had been waiting for, or so I thought. There were more nights of conversation together in that parking lot. Me standing by my car, and you by yours. Us talking for 30 mins, an hour, an hour into two hours... my feet starting to kill in my heels from standing that long, but not wanting to move a muscle or go anywhere because I was having what felt like the most enjoyable and natural conversation of my life.


      Things kept progressing. These are memories that hit me every now and then. Text conversations becoming so flirty that the elephant in the room not being addressed about our feelings kept growing bigger and bigger. You reading my blog on a regular basis and telling me how much you enjoyed my posts. (Wonder if you still read?) After some more time had passed, the night that I finally told you my feelings towards you. Our first date. Etc, etc. And then just as quickly as it had begun, and it began to spiral downward.


      Skipping ahead a couple months in memories, I will never forget the way I felt the day you finally told me there was someone else. It was much overdue information, and it explained all of the changes in the way that you had pulled away from me- not just in being interested in me, but also as my best friend. Hearing that news (and I should clarify- hearing that news via a text message) felt like I had been shot. A hug from my roommate, a visit from a sorority sister, and sobbing myself to sleep that night couldn't take away my pain. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. I had been the girl in college who wouldn't fall victim to the tricks of typical college boys. And here I was, a year later, completely brokenhearted and crushed by someone who I thought I could trust. Someone who shared my religious beliefs and morals. Someone who should have just been honest with me if he didn't have the same type of feelings, instead of telling me he did and leading me on for months.


     All I can tell myself now is that everything happens for a reason. I met you for a reason. I was vulnerable for a reason, and hurt for a reason. I don't know what those reasons were yet, and that's okay. Sometimes realizations come with time and healing.


     What I did learn through my time of knowing you is I did very much like the things that initially attracted me to you- the qualities like kindness, friendliness, and a hardworking attitude in your career. I'll be looking for those same things in the next guy that I meet. But I'll also be more guarded with the next person. You were dishonest in your intentions with me... and whether I like it or not, now my trust has changed. I pray that when the right guy comes, (hopefully soon!), I will be able to let my guard down again and be totally and completely me... just like how I was with you. Because that was a beautiful thing, and now remains a precious memory.


     That concludes the open letter part of today's blog post. I thought that I would also include a few of the ways that have been helping me over the past few months with moving on:



  1. Avoid staying social media friends and social media stalking: I think it's great when exes have a friendly enough break-up to remain social media friends. I'm still Facebook friends with all of my high school crushes, and all of the guys who I dated casually in college. However, this was a romantic situation that meant a lot more to me, and I realized quickly it wasn't healthy for me to remain social media friends with this person after how I was treated. I needed him out of my life, and he was unfriended on all social media. In addition to that, I have to maintain a strict no stalking rule with myself, and hold myself accountable to that! Checking up on someone who hurt me so much never does any good. (Nor does stalking his "someone else"...) 
  2. NO rebounds: A rebound is never a good idea. When you've had strong feelings of love for someone else, that doesn't just go away overnight, especially when you were blindsided out of it like I was. A relationship that begins out of the basis that you needed companionship because you were still missing someone else will never be a healthy one. I've seen too many of my friends over the years fall into the trap of doing this- and it never ends well! I'm finally now at a place where I feel ready to date again, but it definitely took a good few months. And I let it. 
  3. Focus all of your time and energy on making yourself better: Since you won't be with this person anymore and you shouldn't be going after a rebound, take all of the extra time and energy that you have an invest it into YOURSELF. Whether it's kicking butt at your job, learning a new skill, taking that vacation you've always wanted to, or what doing what I did- applying for your dream job! Seriously- having my heart broken was great motivation to kick myself into gear for applying to radio jobs nonstop, which totally paid off. The best revenge of all is to be living an amazing life!


   
     Thank you so much for reading today's Relationship Monday post! Regularly scheduled blog programming will return tomorrow!


     xoxo Annaliese (or Charlotte XO on the radio!)

   

   

36 comments:

  1. It's not easy to open up so much so I commend you for having the courage to write this post! I've been where you've been (had a 6 year relationship end when he met someone else) and it is brutal. But when you lean on your faith, friends, and family you will grow SO much from it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    2. I AM SO HAPPY DR TRUST, MY HUSBAND IS BACK.

      I completely trusted Dr Trust totally from the time I spoke with him during the period my husband Left me after 11 years of our marriage, He started the spell work on my husband, and gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the spell casting. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again, yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend this powerful spell caster to anybody who is in need of help.. E-mail Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com his website: https://utimatespellcaster.com

      WhatApp or call him +2348156885231

      Do accept my gratitude sir.
      .

      Delete
    3. I am very happy today with my family. My name is SELMA NEVA living in the USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.Jude a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. I and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email Allispellhelp1@gmail.com… Now i will advise any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without stress. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (Allispellhelp1@gmail.com) or contact him on his WhatsApp mobile line +2348100772528

      Delete
    4. DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

      It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. i was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, when i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact a great powerful spell caster called Dr. Ugo Wonders living in Florida. i contacted Dr. Ugo and explained my problems, he assured me his help and it was 100% guaranteed. i provided the materials for the spell and in 48 hours, after Dr Ugo Wonders of generalspelltemple@gmail.com finished casting the spell, my husband was free from the evil woman spell and he came back home to us a day after begging us to forgive him. i was so shocked and short of words and here i am today happily testifying so the world can know how this great man helped me with his real powerful spell.
      To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Ugo wonders the ultimate spell caster via his email address generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number directly on +13863369876

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      DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

      It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. i was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, when i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact a great powerful spell caster called Dr. Ugo Wonders living in Florida. i contacted Dr. Ugo and explained my problems, he assured me his help and it was 100% guaranteed. i provided the materials for the spell and in 48 hours, after Dr Ugo Wonders of generalspelltemple@gmail.com finished casting the spell, my husband was free from the evil woman spell and he came back home to us a day after begging us to forgive him. i was so shocked and short of words and here i am today happily testifying so the world can know how this great man helped me with his real powerful spell.
      To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Ugo wonders the ultimate spell caster via his email address generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number directly on +13863369876

      http://generalspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

      Delete
  2. What I've learned from my own experiences is that... boys suck. But what makes it all worth it is knowing that however winding and rocky and terrible it might seem you will come out on the other side stronger and more in touch with yourself. And just think - it sucked then and it may still suck now - but it wasn't meant to be, and what is meant to be will be AMAZING because of what you went through to get there!

    Tori

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so glad you shared this - sometimes it's really hard to get it out but it DOES help so much! You came out of the relationship stronger and knowing more than you ever could which is the most important thing. I've been through a nasty break up and it was not something I want to remember, but something I still don't forget! It's not easy but everything does happen for a reason!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Heartbreak is such a universal feeling and an awful one at that. I loved seeing you open up even more on your blog even though I know it can feel scary. Relationships and dating can be an emotional rollercoaster (even when two genuinely good, well intentioned people are involved). The lessons you learned and used to move on are really good ones. I also think it is important not to go down the rabbit hole of social media stalking exes...it turns you into a crazy person and it is SO not worth it.

    I like to believe it is important to have our hearts broken a time or two. Don't get me wrong, it is a horrible, wretched feeling but we learn from it and we grow. You deserve someone who shares your beliefs, is your best friend and only has eyes for you because he values everything that makes you AMAZING.

    ReplyDelete
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  6. Heartbreak is one of the most painful things we can experience in the world. Let it make you stronger and make the next relationship stronger! Its hard to be open about a relationship, that is great you were able to share this with your readers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing this with us. I remember spending so many nights crying when boys broke my heart, but honestly, it makes my marriage now so much sweeter having experienced that. The heartbreak of before reminds me to not take my marriage now for granted.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Breakups are tough (even when it's the end of a friendship, not a romantic relationship) but it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you know what you're looking for in the next relationship. Things will all fall into place. We've all been there at some point in our lives. It's so important to just be true to yourself and love yourself first!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Heartbreak is such a terrible feeling that no one deserves to feel. This letter is so great though and I think everyone learns things about themselves during times like this
    -Olivia
    Miss Olivia Says

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm glad you decided to sharing this story <3 And thank you for sharing, especially because blogging can be helpful in making you feel better <3

    http://thesophiadiaries.com/howto/how-to-accept-and-embrace-change

    ReplyDelete
  11. Heartbreak is never easy! i love that you opened up to your readers. It's always admirable.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for sharing this story! Everybody can relate to this at one point in their life. Heartbreak is so hard and opening up about it makes you so strong! I wish you luck in your future relationship!

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a beautiful letter. Heartbreak is never easy, but when we take the time to reflect, I believe it moves us towards the person we are meant to be. Love your post break up tips too!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh gosh girl, I feel for you but you are so right that the right guy is out there for you <3

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a great post girl, it takes guts to put yourself out there! The fact that you're able to lay this out and put your heart out there says a lot about moving forward!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Even though the subject is grim, LOVE this post girl! Such a good read.

    -Alix

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you for sharing this. I know how difficult it can be to be in a situation like this, let alone share it for the world to see. I like to think these heartbreaking situations make us stronger, and open the door for the right person.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow, this amazing for sharing, I can only think how helpful this would be for girls struggling through a heartbreak

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sending you endless hugs and lovelovelove going through this...you are SO BRAVE and strong for publishing, and he's a sh*thead for doing that to you. BUt everything does happen for a reason, so you WILL find someone even better!!!

    Coming Up Roses

    ReplyDelete
  20. After being in relationship with him for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

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  21. After being in relationship with him for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

    ReplyDelete
  22. My mouth is full of testimonies, my girlfriend left for two years to Canada for a tourist, where she meant one bad ass and she was bewitch by the guy so surprisingly my girlfriend refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Dr.ojoka and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 2 days my girlfriend came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive her, I'm so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my girlfriend. Dr.ojoka is a genuine Dr contact him on his Email:dr.ojokarootandherbal@gmail.com or whatsapp on his Mobile:+2348144172934
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  23. One of the easiest decision I have ever made was when I accepted to get married to a man I thought was my soul mate, my lover for 2yrs. He was the most handsome and honest man I have ever encountered, he was so kind respectful to me and my entire family. He gave me the reason to spend my entire life with him. I enjoyed 3yrs of love and sweet romance as his wife before the devil came into our home, his ex-girlfriend worked voodoo on him, she made him show me the bad side of him and also caused our divorce. The most annoying part was when she tried to take my life spiritually and physically, fighting to ensure am thoroughly erased from my husband before she takes over. It was getting tensed till the extent that I couldn’t sleep both day and night because she must be there to trouble me.
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    ReplyDelete
  24. Having my wife back has brought great joy into life, This is one thing that i have always wished for in my life and getting it so easy through the help of Dr.Zack Balo was the greatest surprise that i received. I must confess that Dr.Zack Balo has the great powers to rescue people from heart break and this can be done by contacting Dr.Zack Balo through this contact information below Via Email: wiseindividualspell@gmail.com These was the address that i was able to contact Dr.Zack Balo in which he was able to restore my broken marriage

    ReplyDelete
  25. I AM SO HAPPY DR TRUST, MY HUSBAND IS BACK.

    I completely trusted Dr Trust totally from the time I spoke with him during the period my husband Left me after 11 years of our marriage, He started the spell work on my husband, and gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the spell casting. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again, yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend this powerful spell caster to anybody who is in need of help.. E-mail Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com his website: https://utimatespellcaster.com

    WhatApp or call him +2348156885231

    Do accept my gratitude sir.
    .

    ReplyDelete
  26. I AM SO HAPPY DR TRUST, MY HUSBAND IS BACK.

    I completely trusted Dr Trust totally from the time I spoke with him during the period my husband Left me after 11 years of our marriage, He started the spell work on my husband, and gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the spell casting. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again, yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend this powerful spell caster to anybody who is in need of help.. E-mail Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com his website: https://utimatespellcaster.com

    WhatApp or call him +2348156885231

    Do accept my gratitude sir.
    .

    ReplyDelete
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  29. I am very happy today with my family. My name is SELMA NEVA living in the USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.Jude a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. I and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email Allispellhelp1@gmail.com… Now i will advise any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without stress. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (Allispellhelp1@gmail.com) or contact him on his WhatsApp mobile line +2348100772528

    ReplyDelete
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  31. Good news!!! I want to say a big thank to the Calvin for share testimony about the help Dr Ere did for him. I'm Natalie Erica by name from Canada,I was a herpes patient to Dr Ere before i was cure from herpes by the herbal medication I receiver from Dr Ere,I never thought that herpes can be cure until I met Dr Ere who use his special medication to heal me,Do you want to get in touch with him for cure too contact him by E-mail: dreremuselespell@yahoo.com or text and call him throught this number +12137698736 nd he shall help you

    ReplyDelete
  32. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been distressed for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with me so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called DR. LUKAS LELE, DRLELESPELLTEMPLE@OUTLOOK.COM or whatsapp him +2348151729226 and explain my problems to him and he cast a spell for me which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and i am throughly greatful to this man,his contact email DRLELESPELLTEMPLE@OUTLOOK.COM or whatsapp him +2348151729226

    ReplyDelete

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If you have a question in regards to one of my posts, or just want to say hi, the best way to get ahold of me is by e-mailing me directly at: rainbowflash94@yahoo.com. I am better about responding to e-mails than blog comments sometimes!
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